Crystal Ball Cat By FML Approved - 31/10/2017 03:00 Now stop trying to touch my belly and just go away! I agree, your life sucks 460 You deserved it 127 Share Tweet Share
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML I agree, your life sucks 370 You deserved it 125
Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 516 You deserved it 12 732
Today, while working a night shift completely alone at a truck stop, a trucker asked me to get in the shower with him for a "funner night shift", and threw his towels and clothes at me when I told him no. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 171 You deserved it 60
Today, I got a new cat for my birthday. It ate my bird right when we got home, then it ran away. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 749 You deserved it 4 285
Today, I found out that my wife has been stepping out for two years with her two best friend's husbands, our neighbor who lives with his mother, and a complete stranger she worked with for 4 days. She was also pregnant while all this was going on. Then she had a nervous breakdown, and I had to take her to hospital. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 996 You deserved it 213
Today, I got my vacation days denied because I'm "too valuable", while the moron I work with gets his days off because he's "easy to do without." Well, I guess I won't be spending much time with my girlfriend who flew across the country to see me. Glad I'm such a valuable employee. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 321 You deserved it 116
Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 610 You deserved it 54 153
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 243 You deserved it 499