Intimacy: Crossed wires

Crossed wires

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 20:36 - Canada

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 438

You deserved it 43 848

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Same thing different taste

By Roxy19 - 22/01/2013 06:50 - United States - San Diego

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 382

You deserved it 39 496

By Kaji - 14/11/2008 11:20 - France

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 532

You deserved it 24 104

Whatsapp? Not much

By Cat - 12/04/2019 19:00 - Greece - Athens

Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 3 716

By luvlessbootycall - 24/07/2010 05:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 754

You deserved it 6 880

By DreeStahr - 30/09/2016 04:05 - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 891

You deserved it 1 377

Bad timing

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 644

You deserved it 6 626

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 408

You deserved it 31 973

Deep fake

By ohtheshame - 02/05/2011 08:34

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 944

You deserved it 10 748

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 621

You deserved it 33 103

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 067

You deserved it 7 760

MissHumanoid 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 1:30

Hahaha..I'd like to hear the aftermath of this one . :D

smiller0789 3

Sunday 28 November 2010 1:31

That'd be even more awkward if your trainer is male.

Comments

jaboccas 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 15:43

Is you're trainer a guy or a girl? Because if it was a guy that'd be really really really awkward!

Antoine_Dodson1 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 15:53

You are so dumb, for real.

BDTM 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 15:58

FYL if your trainer is a girl, if not, explain the text and it's not so bad.

PGleo86 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 16:33

how do people **** this up? reply button people....

Pawned71 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 16:37

you are an idiot who would text that to his girlfriend?

stevenmx86 7

Sunday 28 November 2010 17:32

Doesn't sound accidental to me lol

Flamehog9 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 18:45

I have no idea what you just said.

skmeow 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 20:06

if you play your cards right you could get a threesome for Christmas

MZHUNIDEW13 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 20:51

lmaoo.....just say WRONG NUMBER !

varkey 7

Monday 29 November 2010 5:42

hopefully shes not a woman. or ur screwed u could just say it was someone else who took your phone in either case...

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The Top

Today, the bank called to ask when were we going to make the mortgage payments for our family home. We were several months late. I had been transferring my mother the cash to make the mortgage payments after she lost her money gambling. She absolutely promised she would stop several months ago. I guess she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 1 615

Today, on my wedding day, when they said, "You may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately, my hands were sweaty as I was nervous, and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 984

You deserved it 19 769

The Top

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 372

You deserved it 6 151

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 472

You deserved it 2 934

Today, I've been working abroad. The holiday request I put in two months ago and that was verbally approved came back denied today as they can't find cover. I have already booked my flights, can't cancel them, and I get to spend Christmas alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 794

You deserved it 747

Today, trying to exercise and be more healthy, I went for a walk but I developed a friction thigh rash. The rash is so bad I will likely not be able to get on another walk for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 195

Today, I told my toddler to put the cat down, so he did. On my leg. I guess I should have been more specific. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 283

Today, aside from clearing out my bank accounts and having an affair, the kicker was finding out my fiancé planned on taking himself and his mistress to Cancun for his birthday, while I would be attending the Marine Corps boot camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 141