Intimacy, Sex, Creepy and Work: Creepypasta

Creepypasta

By QuinnyZebrass - 02/04/2013 04:11 - United States - Laveen

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 863

You deserved it 3 424

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Gross

By Teeny - 05/05/2018 05:00

Today, my creepy co-worker informed me that he was going to stick his "peeny-weeny" in my "teeny-vageeny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 013

You deserved it 398

By workhoe - 20/02/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 985

You deserved it 1 753

By Neveragain - 01/07/2013 05:49 - United States - Tampa

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 091

You deserved it 5 407

By Anonymous - 23/03/2009 06:43 - Canada

Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 361

You deserved it 30 788

Freudian slip

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 13:00 - United States - Rolling Meadows

Today, during sex, my (now ex) boyfriend called out the name of the new female coworker that he told me just last night "not to worry about." He's known her for a week. We were together for 8 and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 116

Creep

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 04:00

Today, I found out that the guy I've been anonymously sexting with through an adult website is the seriously creepy stalker-ish front desk worker from our office building, who also happens to be the building owner's son. Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 1 985

Who am I?

By Anonymous - 21/06/2016 01:59 - United States - Fulton

Today, I might have ruined my co-worker's relationship with her fiancé, with whom I share a name, because we "work together too often" and now he doesn't know whose name she's saying during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 278

You deserved it 1 102

By Chubby - 17/11/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 202

You deserved it 5 175

What a cad!

By the2girls - 09/08/2011 16:08 - Canada

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 248

You deserved it 5 226

By Mdrk783 - 02/09/2009 08:41 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 647

You deserved it 8 860

BigMatt803 18

Tuesday 2 April 2013 12:14

Kinda makes you wonder how he gets laid being such a creep

Sillydeadperson 17

Tuesday 2 April 2013 12:15

Jesus, what a creep. I hope you reported this to your higher-up!

Comments

sulitak 27

Wednesday 3 April 2013 7:53

sexual harassment claim much?

wuzuppipol_fml 2

Wednesday 3 April 2013 7:56

Creepy jerk.

TheCatSniffer 18

Wednesday 3 April 2013 8:13

That is beyond creepy

itskim 6

Thursday 4 April 2013 7:57

Oh no he didn't!

josiem 11

Thursday 4 April 2013 19:29

Run, OP! RUN!

Inediblepeaches 15

Friday 5 April 2013 6:57

Sorry, 1, but thumbs up just because Homestuck.

croxanne_9 3

Saturday 6 April 2013 16:40

You sure he was having sex with a real person? Not the kind that deflate?

Shawnee18 4

Saturday 6 April 2013 19:00

Stranger Danger!!!!

stormsfury2131 6

Monday 8 April 2013 1:41

That's and HR issue, you should report it.

mrsxsavage 3

Thursday 18 April 2013 19:53

Lol!!

Keywords

Health Lonely Dentist Sadness Awkward Abuse Work Miscellaneous Birthday Parents OCD Mental health Relatable Love Housework Cute Cleaning Argument Kids Animals Cats Underwear Intimacy Bikes Camping Friends Vacation Boredom Annoying Transportation

The Top

Today, I was finishing a cigarette outside of the mall when we heard someone fart. Turns out it was a little girl. They looked around, so jokingly I said, "We didn't hear anything." Her family giggled and so did we, until everyone realized the little girl was now sobbing. I'm a POS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 189

Today, on my wedding day, when they said, "You may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately, my hands were sweaty as I was nervous, and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 982

You deserved it 19 769

The Top

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 888

You deserved it 3 632

Today, I found out that I spent 3 whole days cleaning my apartment thoroughly and paid $100 to get my carpet professional cleaned to not get my $950 deposit back because the carpet smells like dog. I don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 297

You deserved it 761

Nononononono...

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 71

Today, my live-in boyfriend spent yet another evening trying to bait Twitch streamers into a debate about stuff he barely understands. He's obsessed with "growing his audience", and I'm getting tired of his bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 157

Today, my remote control airplane arrived in the mail. I was super excited, so naturally I took it outside for its first flight. It now resides at the top of the tallest tree in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 797

You deserved it 8 950

Today, my son brought his new girlfriend home. I took him aside and hugged him, reassuring him that I loved and accepted him no matter his sexual preference. He looked at me confused and asked what I meant. His girl was obviously trans, but he had no idea. I didn’t know he didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 347