Sex, Accident and Intimacy: Cool moves, bro - FML

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 355

You deserved it 5 681

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Same thing different taste

Romantic

By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 01:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 829

You deserved it 3 165

Cool move, dude

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 09:47 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 643

You deserved it 4 260

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 137

You deserved it 4 018

Are you experienced?

By still laughing - 28/08/2015 21:48 - United States - Providence

Spicy

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 474

You deserved it 5 088

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 301

You deserved it 5 108

By staciedee - 01/06/2010 09:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 166

You deserved it 4 949

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Spicy

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 528

You deserved it 5 444

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 452

You deserved it 3 600

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 940

You deserved it 50 916

You tried

By Loveless - 10/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 152

You deserved it 5 694

Next

Top comments

robertlovespi 3

Saturday 30 June 2012 19:29

That's a different way to break the bed during sex...

richy90255 8

Saturday 30 June 2012 19:31

THe bed must have been worn out ... If u know what I mean

Comments

Poetrylover102 6

Sunday 1 July 2012 4:53

Wasn't there recently a FML about some dude breaking glass and giving himself a concussion and his partner contusions from the broken glass while trying to have sex?

Poetrylover102 6

Sunday 1 July 2012 4:56

People need to learn how to have sex properly. Just sayin...

Fmlsea 28

Sunday 1 July 2012 5:06

that sucks sounds like you had a crappy bed hopefully your new one is stronger and tell ur bf not to throw u down so hard sex is suppose to be fun not suppose to injure your partner .

baseballgirl25 6

Sunday 1 July 2012 6:10

DANM!!!!!!!!!!!

hlovesmaya 6

Sunday 1 July 2012 6:29

Ouch? All I can imagine is all those metal springs against your skin!the mood was probably gone after that...

mightymart 5

Sunday 1 July 2012 7:28

Lose some weight

maclieberman 5

Sunday 1 July 2012 7:50

sex fail lol

Cowboy1986 4

Sunday 1 July 2012 12:25

FAT BITCH!!!!

F0reverAl0ne 5

Sunday 1 July 2012 15:19

Still a better love story than Twilight...

tudorgirl12 5

Sunday 1 July 2012 16:06

Are you alright?

diddy1298 2

Sunday 1 July 2012 20:48

fatass!! jk..... physics !!

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Keywords

Work Management Love Jealousy Mental health Relationship advice Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Family Money Birthday Education Public freakouts Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

Today, I'm 25 and still a virgin. At this point I'm not sure to feel embarrassed or proud. Imagine being 25 and not know what the fuck you are doing in the bedroom. I don't know who it would be more awkward for, me or them. Maybe I'll just avoid human interaction all together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 142

Today. I realized my dad is a little bit too rock n roll when he got into a pushing and shoving match with a married couple, who was making comments about how my dad’s leather jacket and ripped jeans weren’t “appropriate.” To be fair, they started it, but this was a parent night at a high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 58

The Top

Today, someone stole my fence and my bulldog got out. I had to go look for her yelling her name in the street. When I found her and brought her back home, she peed in the house as revenge for me not letting her play with the terrified old couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 830

You deserved it 264

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 263

You deserved it 4 007

Today, while showing my mum how to make a TikTok, she not only found the masturbation video I made to send to my husband while he’s away for work, she accidentally managed to post it to TikTok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 1 473

Today, I thought I was being smooth by using a pickup line on a cute barista. I confidently said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "Actually, I'm a barista, and everyone else is waiting for their coffee. Next!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 1 107

Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 703

You deserved it 3 922

Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 346

You deserved it 332