Intimacy: Cheers, asshat

Cheers, asshat

By gross - 15/07/2011 01:09 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 353

You deserved it 5 036

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Tiptony Buskertano

By Jesus - 21/04/2009 14:39 - United States

Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 984

You deserved it 11 453

Money Money Money

By Anonymous - 12/03/2020 08:00

Today, as I was coming out of McDonald's, there was a street musician playing outside. He had his saxophone case open for money. I meant to give him a ten, and it wasn't until I got home later that I realized I'd accidentally given him a hundred-dollar bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 1 654

By CircleBruise - 08/06/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 475

You deserved it 5 886

By totallyembarassed - 07/07/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 993

You deserved it 28 757

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 591

You deserved it 2 802

By peopleinthepark - 30/05/2009 14:46 - United States

Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 950

You deserved it 13 436

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 446

You deserved it 42 532

Sex is out of the window

By Anonymous - 30/01/2022 13:59

Today, I heard a woman moaning while I was walking on a sidewalk. I didn't mind, until someone dropped a recently-used condom on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 139

By honeynuggetviolin - 01/05/2013 00:31

Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 954

You deserved it 5 735

By Otherguy - 18/11/2008 07:36 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 972

You deserved it 9 411

howslife123 0

Friday 15 July 2011 9:05

I saw a lady throw a bag of dog shit into a guitar case once and the guy sniffed it true story

Calivale 7

Friday 15 July 2011 9:07

eww what an ass. that's messed up.

Comments

KatieLov3sChu 4

Friday 15 July 2011 9:12

ewwww that's disgusting! wat an asshole

knocking 0

Friday 15 July 2011 9:13

Think positive. Maybe he meant to throw money in, but accidentally grabbed the condom instead. Or he just thought you really 'blew' and wanted to let you know.

diceplaya 12

Friday 15 July 2011 20:30

Yeah, because he would have a used condom in his pocket for the hell of it...

knocking 0

Friday 15 July 2011 22:13

Well I'm assuming he recently had sex. My boyfriend used to put the used condom in his pocket after we were done until he could find a good place to throw it away.

Livinia 11

Friday 15 July 2011 9:15

Okay, now that's just revolting. Some people are ****** in the head.

Jacobt24 19

Friday 15 July 2011 9:47

ear sex?

purpleninjaa 0

Friday 5 August 2011 5:05

Of course you would reply to that...^

paradogz_fml 6

Friday 15 July 2011 9:16

well, your music must be f****n good, I guess. :)

KatieLov3sChu 4

Friday 15 July 2011 9:27

clearly a condom is the highest honor

tona01 16

Friday 15 July 2011 17:21

don't you know that the original grammy was a used condom?!?

iAmScrubs 19

Friday 15 July 2011 9:20

You know what I like to say. When life gives you a used condom, throw it in someone's guitar case!

flockz 19

Friday 15 July 2011 9:32

*when life gives u a used condom, they probably don't want it back.

1215116a 14

Friday 15 July 2011 9:39

when life gives you a used condom, you know no life was made.

dudeitsdanny 9

Friday 15 July 2011 10:02

*when life gives you a used condom, use it to make life cupcake batter.

cynide 13

Friday 15 July 2011 9:20

umm... hit him with your guitar, knock him sense less. i would pay to see that

cameron194 9

Friday 15 July 2011 9:20

I would have chased him down and beat the **** out of him

Omgpwned1234 0

Friday 15 July 2011 14:32

lol because you're tough, right?

jessyrodgers 0

Friday 15 July 2011 15:21

26 no you wouldn't

sydmior 10

Saturday 16 July 2011 8:32

#26 Ida. Yeah, that's right. IDA. Here's how this one goes: "if I was there, Ida kicked his ass. Ida told him to go **** himself." You would have done no such ******* thing. You tell this guy a story about something that happened to you, and he's gotta tell you about if it happened to him, he would have reacted in a way more cool and extreme way than you did.