Boom, headshot!

By Anonymous - 07/09/2019 02:02

Today, my boyfriend headbutted me during sex. This wouldn't be so bad if it was the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 299

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Same thing different taste

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 829

You deserved it 4 378

Kinky

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 12:00 - United States - Fpo

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 270

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 946

You deserved it 6 528

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 615

You deserved it 4 101

By staciedee - 01/06/2010 09:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 165

You deserved it 4 949

Nosebleed

By bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I have ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 251

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 136

You deserved it 4 017

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 06:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 468

You deserved it 6 136

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 758

You deserved it 13 668

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 009

You deserved it 6 798

ahabsfan 14

Saturday 7 September 2019 4:52

So you don’t practise safe sex?

jbuckets_404 38

Saturday 7 September 2019 20:58

OP, it sounds like you both need to review those Kama Sutra instructions again.... JS.

Comments

ahabsfan 14

Saturday 7 September 2019 4:52

So you don’t practise safe sex?

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 7 September 2019 6:57

He's just reciprocating for you giving him head. That's chivalry by today's standards.

Mungolikecandy 19

Saturday 7 September 2019 10:05

Sex helmets are the way of the future.

jbuckets_404 38

Saturday 7 September 2019 20:58

OP, it sounds like you both need to review those Kama Sutra instructions again.... JS.

PlagueofFiction 20

Sunday 8 September 2019 1:04

Is your boyfriend a Klingon?

tounces7 27

Sunday 8 September 2019 1:15

That makes it sound intentional on his part.

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The Top

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 205

You deserved it 3 629

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 191

You deserved it 7 773

Today, after I confessed my feelings towards my long time crush two weeks ago and was rejected, he messaged me asking for a quick fuck, with no strings attached. I guess that’s all I am good for now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 206

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 743

You deserved it 6 483

Today, our new cat, which my mum was hesitant about letting us keep because she believes they're diseased, gave us all ringworm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 190

You deserved it 13 523

Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 619

You deserved it 303

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 960

You deserved it 6 421