Kids, Parents and Scary: Better late than never - FML

Better late than never

By why now?! - 12/08/2022 02:00

Today, the guy I had a two-week long fling with and got pregnant by (while on birth control I might add), and who disappeared more than a decade ago after I told him, showed up at my door, demanding shared custody of my daughter. While he is her biological parent, she’s never met him and was terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 805

You deserved it 196

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Same thing different taste

Fool me once…

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 629

You deserved it 130

Incognito IRL

By Stressed out mom - 07/03/2018 01:30

Today, my daughter confessed that she’s pregnant from a one-night stand with some guy she met on vacation in Florida a few months ago. The dirtbag never told her his last name and the phone number he gave her was fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 135

You deserved it 3 314

Exes from hell

By what the actual fuck?! - 02/08/2021 07:01 - United States

Today, my psychotic ex-boyfriend hit a brand new low. I was served court papers, saying that he’s suing me by demanding I give him a paternity test for my daughter. He’s also telling everyone he’s her real father. He and I were broken up for more than a year before I even got pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 89

Karma

By SoandSo - 12/01/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, ten years after getting my college girlfriend pregnant and leaving because I wasn't ready, I reached out to her and told her I'm ready to be a father. Apparently my son "already has a father in his life" and "doesn't need me." She laughed at me when I threatened to sue for custody, and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 2 821

By Richard - 18/10/2017 13:23 - United States

Today, a DNA test proved that my 2-month-old daughter isn't mine. The real father is my girlfriend's husband, whom she married last year when she lied to me about going on a vacation. We've been together for three years and I never knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 394

You deserved it 529

Today, on Maury…

By twitch - 07/10/2019 18:00

Today, I found out I'm pregnant after 14 years of being told I'll likely never have kids. My fiancé has a 7 year-old child with a woman who used it to stop him from leaving her. Yesterday, she filed a false report/restraining order to keep him from his kid, because he refused to leave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 868

You deserved it 186

A bit weird, mom

By let it go already! - 07/02/2022 18:00

Today, I found out my mom was serious when she said she’d never get over me dumping my ex. While babysitting my 6 month-old daughter, she took her to meet said ex for lunch while I was at work. Problem? He’s not my daughter’s father and I broke up with him when I was 16. My husband is pissed as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 97

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 22:00

Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my soon-to-be ex-husband's baby from the moment we agreed to have sex one last time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 697

You deserved it 9 138

By =( - 05/04/2014 17:48 - United States - Houston

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 730

You deserved it 14 418

One of the guys

By Sabrinna - 14/03/2024 11:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I found out that the girl that my boyfriend considers “one of the guys” isn’t really one of the guys after all. I trusted him to let her stay at his house overnight on several occasions, and to spend alone time with her. She’s pregnant, and the baby is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 287

Next

Top comments

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Friday 12 August 2022 3:07

Tell him you'll make him pay a decade worth of child support and you'll probably never see him again.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 12 August 2022 5:51

I'm sure judges look favorably on 10 years of abandonment. He'll get laughed out of court!

Comments

Boyufd 24

Friday 12 August 2022 2:36

wasn’t this posted before? or something similar to it?

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Friday 12 August 2022 3:07

Tell him you'll make him pay a decade worth of child support and you'll probably never see him again.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 12 August 2022 5:51

I'm sure judges look favorably on 10 years of abandonment. He'll get laughed out of court!

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The Top

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 72

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 006

You deserved it 21 832

The Top

Today, I got the most painful neck cramp of my life after whipping my head back in laughter at something that wasn't even that funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 549

You deserved it 1 901

Today, I thought my water had broken. I'd actually just peed myself when the baby moved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 304

You deserved it 385

Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 300

Today, my best friend and my ex-boyfriend went on a business trip, got drunk, and ended up sleeping together. Now they want to start dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 839

You deserved it 343

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 627

You deserved it 4 626

Today, I dropped my phone in the wet snow. I read that putting it in rice helps to get the water out. Three pieces of rice are now frozen into the power port, and I can't get the charger in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 099

You deserved it 13 810