Health, Embarrassing, Insects and Awkward: Bad timing - FML

Bad timing

By Sorry granny - 04/11/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, I learned that when a fly goes up your shirt into your armpit, it tickles very badly. I also found out that it's hard to explain this to your mother while she's trying to have a serious conversation with you about your grandmother's rapidly deteriorating health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 121

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Same thing different taste

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 833

You deserved it 29 322

TMI

By Anonymous - 28/07/2020 02:02

Today, my granny had the phone on loudspeaker, talking to a friend. When the conversation turned from the price of potatoes to ticks in hard-to-reach places, I fleed into the garden. First thing granny tells me once I’m back: The details of how that tick was all the way up in her friend’s husband’s crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 144

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 12:00

Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 677

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 25/10/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 325

You deserved it 4 129

Freaked out

By The Buzzing - 28/07/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 140

By GnarCarBar - 12/09/2011 23:03 - United States

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 781

You deserved it 4 659

By sneaky1324 - 18/08/2012 07:49 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 937

You deserved it 2 202

By appropriatepolice - 16/01/2012 08:19 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 842

You deserved it 13 695

By liilii - 30/08/2014 16:40 - India - Trivandrum

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 696

You deserved it 6 694

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 18/06/2020 23:03

Today, I found out that the reason I have unbearable pain in my stomach when I sit down is because I have 2 horrifyingly large boils on my waist. My mother nearly fainted when I showed them to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 331

You deserved it 241

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Top comments

dasin 18

Saturday 5 November 2022 12:23

id bet any comedian would enjoy having that story under their belt

Comments

dasin 18

Saturday 5 November 2022 12:23

id bet any comedian would enjoy having that story under their belt

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Family Kids Fight Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Social Media Love Relationship advice Art Work Students Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception

The Top

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 91

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 564

You deserved it 2 470

The Top

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 381

You deserved it 35 725

Today, I was talking to myself in the bathroom to remind myself of what chores I need to do. My husband overheard me and is now convinced that I was on the phone with someone. No amount of proof, logic or reasoning can convince him that I'm not cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 880

You deserved it 2 293

Today, I deliberately didn't tell my therapist half of what I was going through because I didn't want to depress her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 332

You deserved it 11 432

Today, I got back from a romantic vacation at a fancy hotel with my boyfriend of 6 months. After a steamy love session, I confessed that I was in love with him. Later, when I got out of the shower, all his stuff was gone and I was stuck with the entire week's hotel cost and no ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 866

You deserved it 6 734

Today, my dad squirted water at me. Fortunately, I blocked it. Unfortunately, I blocked it with my new $200 camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 098

You deserved it 24 408

Today, I got my hair cut short, as it hasn’t been cut in well over a year and I was getting sick of dealing with it. I told the hairdresser I would probably look like a boy but she said it would look cute, and that she’d make sure it looks feminine. I loved how it came out, until the kid at CVS asked, “Can I help you sir?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 296