Alexa, play "What's My Age Again?" by Blink182 - FML

Alexa, play "What's My Age Again?" by Blink182

By collegestudent - 20/09/2019 02:01

Today, my dad asked me if I needed crayons for school. I'm going to college this fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 208

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 05:38

Today, I asked my parents if I had a college fund because I will be going to university in two years. They laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 815

You deserved it 5 753

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 14/09/2010 02:56 - United States

Today, I had a conference with my dad, my counselor, and my history and English teachers because my dad was "concerned" about my grades in those two classes. We talked for a while and it was going well, then my counselor asked what I wanted to study in college. I said I wanted to be a teacher. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 812

You deserved it 4 673

By Stupidteach - 11/11/2009 12:47 - United States

Today, I asked my father for some help paying my college tuition. He told me he'd help me after I become more accredited than he is. My father has 2 PHDs. I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 071

You deserved it 3 943

By Anonymous - 29/08/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 749

You deserved it 3 888

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 1 137

Helicopter parents

By that girl. - 06/06/2012 05:26 - United States

Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 526

You deserved it 3 555

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 21:29 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 760

You deserved it 3 154

By Anna - 18/03/2010 12:20 - United States

Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 051

You deserved it 4 884

By sendhelp - 30/04/2017 16:00

Today, my mom asked me to take my dad's mail to him. The "mail" was divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 493

You deserved it 333

By seb21 - 09/02/2009 02:32 - United States

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 511

You deserved it 2 315

Next

Top comments

Dylan_331414998 11

Friday 20 September 2019 2:32

Coloring is therapeutic to people and maybe he wanted to help you out.

samuelwong 7

Friday 20 September 2019 2:11

So do you need them?

Comments

samuelwong 7

Friday 20 September 2019 2:11

So do you need them?

Dylan_331414998 11

Friday 20 September 2019 2:32

Coloring is therapeutic to people and maybe he wanted to help you out.

Ainarr 29

Friday 20 September 2019 3:39

honestly, as a recent graduate — you might just need them. for stress.

zoelog 10

Friday 20 September 2019 3:56

I'm going to assume he was kidding.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 20 September 2019 5:19

You do, and tell him not to **** around. You need the box of 64 with the built-in sharpener -- college is big-time stuff!

raven_of_azarath 34

Friday 20 September 2019 5:55

I used crayons, colored pencils, and markers quite a bit in college. Granted it was for stress-relief coloring and not actual class... Maybe he’s just tying to help you keep from getting too stressed? Or maybe he’s making a statement about your degree. Do you happen to be majoring in education or art?

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Friday 20 September 2019 9:13

he should let you buy it yourself and let you be independent, i get how that's upsetting

skippydoda 32

Friday 20 September 2019 14:01

Yes. Yes you do.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Friday 20 September 2019 16:58

You'll need to eat something while you're a piss-poor student.

jbuckets_404 38

Saturday 21 September 2019 2:01

Won't your dad still need them if he's in the US Marine Corps???

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 489

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 3 567

The Top

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 173

Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 114

Today, I was sitting in the break room when my boss came in and yelled at me about a mistake. Because I've worked in customer service for years, I instinctively responded with, "I'm terribly sorry to hear that, sir. I hope you'll still consider us in the future." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 882

You deserved it 888

Today, I accidentally sent my teacher a picture of me in my boyfriend's boxers instead of my essay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 696

You deserved it 22 308

Today, while stocking the shelves, a customer demanded I ring up his stuff. I’m not a cashier and therefore don’t have a login code to do so, so I told him as such. He then pulled out a knife and threatened to stab me if I didn’t ring him up. I’m currently writing this from the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 81

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 171

You deserved it 10 066