Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
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Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
"The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching."
NessieMonster188 17
The sweet smell of karma! Oh wait..
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Comments (117)
Geary519 20
karma just bit u in the ass!
uhhSavage 22
Sounds like a shitty situa- *shot*
jessi_sunshine 26
13 - If only you had finished your almost-pun. I would have actually thumbed up.
420Zombie 17
regardless of how it's used I guarantee the old "shitty situation" comment will get down thumbed. yet... I'm almost positive there will be at least one more as I read through the rest of the comments -_-.
TourettesGuyFTW 25
You should have said: That was a shitzhu situation to be in. (yeah, that's right, I'm recycling 2-day old puns!)
botanistjessica 24
The "gets shot" at the end of the shitty situation puns is getting more annoying than the original pun itself.
tacojauns 45
How do you know Op's dog's name?
KingDead 18
What I don't get, is why he was walking in the middle of the street.. Haha
ScruffyFML 10
Karma 1 - Op 0. Let the game continue.
wallandpiece 16
Do people commenting about 'karma' actually believe it's real?
jellycorn 13
Shoulda cast scourgify.
tjv3 10
YDI . Way to go op karma is a biotch isnt it
Cheeley 17
Maybe have bags to pick it up next time.
Harmell 7
And don't walk in the middle of the street
amDes 11
Yes, why take your dog for a walk to do its business and NOT bring a bag? Did you think he was just going to sniff the roses??
MakeTodayADTR 20
Karma at its finest. xD
lexxiii 17
I hope we leaned a lesson today.
CareFace 16
Must have been a fat lesson...
NessieMonster188 17
The sweet smell of karma! Oh wait..
Enslaved 36
Better you than me. I wear flip flops.):
cb1002630 11
Shit happens OP
RpiesSPIES 27
That's a s*head is blasted off*
upallnight11 19
No shit!
swimagirl4321 15
You should always pick it up even if you think no one is watching
plaguer 26
I hope someone WAS watching and called it in. That's a hefty fine where I live, and it sounds like OP deserves to pay every penny.
A7XCamaro 19
Unless the cop actually saw the dog take the dump in the street, there isn't evidence of who's dog it was.
plaguer 26
You'd think so. I've seen people get fined because someone had 3+ complaints of them not picking up after their dogs.
not_a_robot 15
Where I live if you don't clean up after your dog you must pay a fine and do 12 hours of community service. I always clean up after my dog because I hate finding other dog's sh** in my front yard and I won't do to others what I hate having be done to me.
Sputnikspak 13
Not to mention that some illnesses are spread to dogs through feces. It's way safer if everyone picks up. I walk my dog in the local woods, and even if I have to trudge into the underbrush after him (cane and all), I do it. Now that the snow is starting to melt, that park is a disgusting swamp of muddy poo. I always carry extra bags and I'll tell off anybody who isn't picking up. Not afraid to call public security, either (they issue a hefty fine). I've used my phone to tape an asshole whose dog kept ******** on my lawn and didn't get picked up after. He got a nice big fine.
AngrySailor 17
Must have been your guide dog. YDI
AngrySailor 17
Sweet flyin **** did no one get the joke?
botanistjessica 24
I see no joke. Just a bad attempt to connect two totally unrelated FMLs.
zingline89 18
"The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching."
MrSassypants 33
"I'm the type who likes to leave my things behind and step on them." - OP