Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was brushing my teeth. As I bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spat a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML
Today, I was taking a shower at the gym when hearing a loud popping noise. Surprised and startled, I jumped and slipped, hitting my head against the shower wall that left a small gash. The pop noise was just someone blowing bubbles from their gum. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Sticky situation" comments and pussy double-entendres in 3...2...1...
perdix 31
Take yer dirty animal down to PetsMart where the motto is: We're not ******* about cleaning cats.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
Pleonasm 36
"Sticky situation" comments and pussy double-entendres in 3...2...1...
Charmillionaire 13
No Pleo, that's your job :D
Pleonasm 36
I don't like to make puns on the cat ones because they are so abundant on FML and so the comment section just ends up reading "pussy" ad nauseam.
Pleonasm 36
And hey, waddaya know, I wasn't wrong at all ;)
Charmillionaire 13
8 - I thought the words "I don't like to make puns" would ever escape your lips! Or.. Your fingers, I guess.
DKjazz 20
ctrl+f "pussy"... OH GOD HE'S RIGHT.
GayMatt 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
just shave the pussy
teareb 9
That is a terrible idea. If you got gum in your hair would your first thought be to shave your head? Also if op's cat attacks every time it gets a bath you think a razor would have a calming influence on it?
wastedpenguin 14
you hear that? its the sound of 3#'s joke going over your head
teareb 9
And you taking my comment seriously gj idiot
andyyroxx 20
What the actual ****? You're the cabbage muff thundercunt idiot here. If you were making a joke it wasn't obvious.
ohcheriecherie 20
46- well, 3's joke wasn't funny so.
zandalee 20
... I laughed!
teareb 9
46-I know it was supposed to be a joke -_-
donkeytowel 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you should really have filmed that and uploaded somewhere :D
kathbutter 12
shame OP didn't know it was going to happen..
tuxedoandex 28
Because real life is all staged, and we're all recording everything and planning for it to happen so we can upload it. Right.
wanderingshopper 13
You are an a$$!
ShannyAK 16
Maybe take her to a cat groomer?
Sandman366 6
Or just wet your hands and "pet" the cat carefully as to not invoke wrath.
perdix 31
Take yer dirty animal down to PetsMart where the motto is: We're not ******* about cleaning cats.
Damian95 16
Blowin bubbles is all fun and games until someone gets sticky.
perdix 31
#39, Michael Jackson liked it.
False_Stupidity 42
Bubbles enjoyed it too.
dandaman1457 7
Put peanut butter on her that's what people do when they get gum in their hair, and if it doesn't work you could always just coat her in chocolate and have a pussy that tastes like a peanut butter cup.
ShannyAK 16
Yeah but the gum isnt healthy for the cat
dandaman1457 7
Peanut butter helps to get the gum out from what I've heard, I've never actually tried it myself
happle 21
15- I'm sure you'd clean the poor cat quickly after it got gum on itself.
goreajek 13
You do know that you can pay people to clean your sticky pussy...
missea5756 6
Good one!!! Best comment I've seen!
PunkySpunky78 15
The sugar in it could be bad for the cat just like the sugar in some gums are poison for dogs Look it up
ShannyAK 16
The 'thing' is a cat