Cats, Cute and Animals: Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided...

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 17:41 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 425

You deserved it 10 070

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Same thing different taste

By toothpastecat - 13/05/2011 15:41 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 628

You deserved it 8 426

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 083

You deserved it 40 020

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 235

You deserved it 89 747

By splitzville - 16/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 962

You deserved it 40 858

Smelly cat, smelly cat…

By Kas - 25/11/2020 11:02

Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 140

By murphy22 - 24/08/2012 09:33 - United States - Norman

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 643

You deserved it 2 822

By Anon O'Mous - 02/01/2012 15:38 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower at the gym when hearing a loud popping noise. Surprised and startled, I jumped and slipped, hitting my head against the shower wall that left a small gash. The pop noise was just someone blowing bubbles from their gum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 585

You deserved it 5 696

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 391

You deserved it 22 958

Rescue cat

By crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 418

You deserved it 836

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 549

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 29 January 2013 22:55

"Sticky situation" comments and pussy double-entendres in 3...2...1...

perdix 29

Tuesday 29 January 2013 23:04

Take yer dirty animal down to PetsMart where the motto is: We're not ******* about cleaning cats.

Comments

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 29 January 2013 22:55

"Sticky situation" comments and pussy double-entendres in 3...2...1...

Charmillionaire 13

Tuesday 29 January 2013 22:56

No Pleo, that's your job :D

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 29 January 2013 23:03

I don't like to make puns on the cat ones because they are so abundant on FML and so the comment section just ends up reading "pussy" ad nauseam.

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 29 January 2013 23:09

And hey, waddaya know, I wasn't wrong at all ;)

Charmillionaire 13

Tuesday 29 January 2013 23:27

8 - I thought the words "I don't like to make puns" would ever escape your lips! Or.. Your fingers, I guess.

DKjazz 20

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:05

ctrl+f "pussy"... OH GOD HE'S RIGHT.

GayMatt 22

Tuesday 29 January 2013 22:55

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

teareb 9

Wednesday 30 January 2013 0:02

That is a terrible idea. If you got gum in your hair would your first thought be to shave your head? Also if op's cat attacks every time it gets a bath you think a razor would have a calming influence on it?

wastedpenguin 14

Wednesday 30 January 2013 0:51

you hear that? its the sound of 3#'s joke going over your head

teareb 9

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:29

And you taking my comment seriously gj idiot

andyyroxx 20

Wednesday 30 January 2013 2:31

What the actual ****? You're the cabbage muff thundercunt idiot here. If you were making a joke it wasn't obvious.

ohcheriecherie 20

Wednesday 30 January 2013 4:55

46- well, 3's joke wasn't funny so.

zandalee 19

Wednesday 30 January 2013 8:27

... I laughed!

teareb 9

Sunday 3 February 2013 7:30

46-I know it was supposed to be a joke -_-

donkeytowel 11

Tuesday 29 January 2013 22:57

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

kathbutter 12

Tuesday 29 January 2013 23:13

shame OP didn't know it was going to happen..

tuxedoandex 28

Tuesday 6 January 2015 5:28

Because real life is all staged, and we're all recording everything and planning for it to happen so we can upload it. Right.

wanderingshopper 13

Tuesday 29 January 2013 22:59

You are an a$$!

ShannyAK 16

Tuesday 29 January 2013 23:03

Maybe take her to a cat groomer?

Sandman366 6

Wednesday 30 January 2013 2:06

Or just wet your hands and "pet" the cat carefully as to not invoke wrath.

perdix 29

Tuesday 29 January 2013 23:04

Take yer dirty animal down to PetsMart where the motto is: We're not ******* about cleaning cats.

Damian95 16

Wednesday 30 January 2013 0:17

Blowin bubbles is all fun and games until someone gets sticky.

perdix 29

Wednesday 30 January 2013 0:29

#39, Michael Jackson liked it.

False_Stupidity 41

Wednesday 30 January 2013 10:35

Bubbles enjoyed it too.

dandaman1457 7

Tuesday 29 January 2013 23:05

Put peanut butter on her that's what people do when they get gum in their hair, and if it doesn't work you could always just coat her in chocolate and have a pussy that tastes like a peanut butter cup.