Ear Invasion
Albuquerque, United States
Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
nk
United States
Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML
Anonymous
United States
Waxing and waning
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
jaqlove
Clementon, United States
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Xandriajoy10
Australia
Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying two minutes of my life. FML
Anonymous
Littleton, United States
Top o' the mornin' to ya
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
Anonymous
Ewwwwww
Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML
John
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Saint Lucia
Creepy crawlies
Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML
Anonymous
Victoria, Canada
I am the passenger
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
caempa
Australia
Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML
Top comments
Codezlol 21
Did you name him Jiminy??
isallwaysme 27
that little bugger
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Comments (90)
isallwaysme 27
that little bugger
ICastillo 24
And after all this time he thought his conscious was just chirping at him. I bet It was bugging him for a long time.
insertnameherr 11
how does one even manage to get a cricket stuck in their ear?
kenoswild 14
neat magic trick....
Codezlol 21
Did you name him Jiminy??
Enslaved 36
Well, Jiminy did think he was a conscience. (: What better way to try and get into the mind of the OP? (:
EMTchic 14
*Jimminy
GothickNihilist 15
Well it is a proper cricket name. Oh and always let your conscience be your guide. OP next time make friends with a cat named Figaro. :3
JustKittyKat 24
I once saved a cricket from my cat and named him, Cri-kee like the one in Mulan.
frecktured 14
Gonna get yourself used to chirp-less nights!
yoursucklives 36
very nice of you to befriend it!
buckdharma 37
Could have been worse. Could have been a dung beetle.
ma12r 22
how???....I don't even.....
AnimeCookie 9
Could have crawled up to your brain and ate it.
ninjaCow18 11
No...
Synapsky 10
My grandpa used to pull quarters out of my ears. Maybe your doctor is your grandpa, but he doesn't want to be obvious about it.
buddy51 23
Or your grampa was a doctor and you had crickets AND quarters in your ear...
testestestes123 4
I knew a guy who had a roach crawl in his ear while sleeping. He had to go to the hospital in the middle if the night to remove it. He slept with cotton balls in his ears after that. Traumatized much? Me thinks, yes.
Sputnikspak 13
I've had mosquitoes get in my ears before, but I would probably freak the hell out if it was anything else (I freak out enough at the mosquitoes...). Aaaaagh.
Enslaved 36
I've had a gnat fly up my nose and freaked out because I couldn't find the damn bug! I even blew my nose like crazy trying to get it out! :P
gc327072 30
There once was a lady why swallowed a gnat. Why she do dat?
Jovecove 13
Gawd I hate roaches, those damn little ***** need to find elsewhere to make their homes