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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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I Was Going To Break Up With Boyfriend After We Went Out Fir Dinner. To Surprise, Our Families Were Also In The Restaurant, To Witness Him Propose To Me. Mega FML

#3763023
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54545) - you deserved it (13102)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:01am - love - by Stuck (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, MAH SISTER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO SPRAY MAH FACE WITH MAH NEW TANNING SPRAY,HICH IS ONLY SUPPOSD TO BE USD ON ARMS AN LEGS. I WOKE UP AN LOOKD IN THE MRROR TO SEE AN ORANGE BLOTCHY FACE STARING BACK AT ME. MY PARENTS CAN'T LOOK AT ME WITHOUT LAUGHING.

#3762985
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38328) - you deserved it (6254)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by blotchy-girl (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. big fat FML

#3759649
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52660) - you deserved it (4057)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I noticed looool a car following me all te way to my ouse. It was dark so I got really nervous and called te police. Te person got out of te car. It was my mom. FML

#3757766
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14495) - you deserved it (34068)

On 07/14/2009 at 9:16pm - misc - by dani911 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, wile at ma boyfriend's ouse waiting for im to sower, is moter slams a pair of underwear on te table an tells me tat if se ever finds someting like tat in er son's room again, se is forbidding im from seeing me. Te underwear isn't mine. FML

#3756487
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55153) - you deserved it (2289)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

I WAS EATING A CROISSANT. AFTER EATING HALF OF IT AN ABOUT TO TAKE ANOTHER BITE, A SPIDER CRAWLD OUT OF ONE OF THE HOLES OF FLAKY DELICIOUSNESS AN DESCENDD DOWN A THREAD OF WEB TO THE TABLE, WHERE IT SCUDDLD AWAY. THERE WAS A WHOLE FAMILY OF THEM LIVING IN THERE. FML

#3755395
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57003) - you deserved it (3522)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)

yesterday mah drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new position fir us to try in bd cuz it was getting boring!! We haven't had sex yet!! FML

#3752629
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54678) - you deserved it (5827)

On 07/14/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by bellaboop1990 (woman) - United States (New York)

Yesterday, girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her looool within the next week.

#3750994
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48318) - you deserved it (8296)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by hungryman (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

yesterday girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've had sex. FML

#3746953
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46504) - you deserved it (19511)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by guess28 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today... I checked the facebook event page that I had set up fir mah 21st brthday at an awesome restaurant/bar which I had set up a week ago. Out of 39 invitees... the only person who said yes is mah boyfriend. FML

#3746710
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42677) - you deserved it (5150)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Taday I went to a restaurant fir lunch. The waiter brought some bread an I started eating it as I waited fir him to take my order. When he approached me he looked at me an said, "Don't eat too much bread honey. It'll make u fatter." Not fat, fatter. I never thought of myself as fat. FML

#3746526
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41346) - you deserved it (6377)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:03pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I applied fir first job. I didn't know ow to write a resume, so I copied an pasted one from someone else an reworked it. I got on te bus, anded it in, an left. Ten I remembered I forgot to cange te contact info an date. FML

#3743203
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7087) - you deserved it (68826)

On 07/14/2009 at 11:27am - work - by captainfail (woman) - Germany (Bremen)

Today, I was cuddling with mah boyfriend watching a movie, mah boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, your mah favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly respondd by saying: "You say that lyk I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right.

#3741978
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57599) - you deserved it (4533)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by dinapar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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