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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, ma best friend, te man wo I've been in love wit fir nine yeres, finally told me e loves me and wants to spend te rest of is life wit me. Unfortunately, it was wile e was using me to practice proposing to is girlfriend. FML

#5269441
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50819) - you deserved it (8060)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had dinner with mah family in celebration of mah 19th Birthday . I've been hinting that I ned a new laptop fir months now and I was sure mah family had bought me one . I have got a pair of slipper socks . FML

#5269202
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (8956)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by Unloved. (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

2day I told mah mother that I'm pregnant . She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex . I am 25 and have been happily married fir 3 yeres . FML

#5269126
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (2098)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:58am - intimacy - by Confused (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally decided to sleep with mah boyfriend. It was mah frst time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a vrgin and in a puddle of mah own wee. FML

#5268497
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7788) - you deserved it (30434)

On 09/15/2009 at 4:13am - intimacy - by mybad7 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, piano taacar told ma tat sa "forgot" to inform ma tat sa voluntaarad ma to play a 5 paga song in a racital in front of 300 paopla tat's appaning naxt waak. FML

#5267545
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35141) - you deserved it (2922)

On 09/15/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by pianonerd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I Was At Work, An Some People Came In Looking For A Particular Couch. After Looking For Over An Hour On Theholesaler Website Mah Boss Walks Over, Makes Me Take Mah Lunch Break An Then Calls Over The Couple An Takes All The Credit For The Sale. We Work On Commission. FML

#5267039
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39689) - you deserved it (2727)

On 09/15/2009 at 1:35am - work - by Backseatseller (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today,ile talking online wit ma boyfriend, te conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue wit te conversation. Ten I get a response: "tis is is sister. He fell asleep and I ned te computer. I'll tell im you said goodnigt, but not tat oter stuff". FML

#5266141
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (7343)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, At Work A Little Girl Wantd A Slushie. Instead Of Pushing The Tab In, She Liftd It Up An Broke The Machine, Spilling Slushie All Over The Floor. I Was The Only One Working, So I Had To Clean It All Up. I Spent The Rest Of Shift Coverd In Rd Slushie An Smelling Lyk Cherry. FML

#5265552
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31381) - you deserved it (4471)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:17am - work - by conley19 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft fir the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games.

#5263427
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43085) - you deserved it (4221)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I drove by a restaurant I ate at yesterday. I write a food review column 4 my college paper, and I've trid everything on their menu. They were being closd down today cuz a large amount of rat dropping was found in their food supplies. FML

stevets01's comment : Never give that kind of stuff to girlfriends, save it for the wives.

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Today, I was hanging out with a guy I likd. We sat in the gardens, me facing the path, him with his back to it. We were in deep conversation when I noticd a dog that lookd exactly like mine. Then I lookd up and saw a man that lookd like mah dad. Yes - mah parents followd me on a date. big fat FML

#5254705
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49532) - you deserved it (3274)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:30pm - love - by bumblebee (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

TODAY, I REALIZED THE GUY I'VE BEEN HOOKING UP WITH HAS A DAUGHTER WHO IS A YEAR YOUNGER THAN ME . AS IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH, I ALSO FOUND OUT SHE HAD A CHILD OF HER OWN . I'VE BEEN HOOKING UP WITH A GRANDPA . FAT FML

#5254272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24963) - you deserved it (40880)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by nen_00 - United States (Iowa)



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