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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

#7194644
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24452) - you deserved it (3901)

On 01/07/2010 at 3:31am - animals - by Archie (man) - United States (California)

Today, my college professor/employer failed to send in a letter I had been counting on for a scholarship application. He has also decided not to pay me for the last two months. I'm not going to make rent. Apparently this is the punishment you get for politely declining a date with a married man. FML

#7193872
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39804) - you deserved it (2713)

On 01/07/2010 at 2:13am - misc - by nothotforteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, feeling confident, I asked my boyfriend what he thought of my new body, since I had lost 16 kilos over the past month. He told me that he missed the old me and wanted me to gain weight again. My boyfriend was the one that encouraged me to lose weight in the first place. FML

#7193385
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30199) - you deserved it (3585)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:36am - health - by Srain (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML

#7192878
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9898) - you deserved it (15467)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by a.baybay (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

#7192176
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (2888)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I was tired of his childishness and anger, so he decided to send me 540 random text messages of scrambled letters in order to mess up my phone as well, as make me pay 20 cents for each message. FML

#7191706
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (5438)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:01am - love - by DeadBroke (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65888) - you deserved it (3333)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML

#7188892
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7246) - you deserved it (27315)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:58pm - misc - by mindlost (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the police stopped me for "driving irresponsibly" in the snowy conditions. After the 'lecture', they went to pull off in their Ford Focus Estate. Managing to go forward, they then hit a patch of ice and slid back. Instead of breaking or turning, they let it slide back into the front of my car. FML

Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML

#7185908
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (2978)

On 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML

#7183279
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28872) - you deserved it (4706)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:28pm - health - by moudly (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML

#7183146
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34390) - you deserved it (2531)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

#7183018
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18716) - you deserved it (24730)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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