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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML

#13684047
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38980) - you deserved it (13822)

On 11/02/2010 at 2:20am - work - by saraleerocha - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to move back in with my dad and brother. After getting settled, I had to shower. I got everything ready and when I got in, it smelled strongly of pee. The stink was so intense I could barely breathe. Cleaning doesn't even help. I'm stuck here for at least a month. I hate living with men. FML

Today, I was at Wal-Mart and I asked a guy who worked there where the scrapbooking stuff was. He led me to the aisle where it was and then said, "By the way, I don't work here." FML

#13681370
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9182) - you deserved it (29975)

On 11/01/2010 at 10:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

#13678660
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11206) - you deserved it (40361)

On 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I realized that my parents never ground me as a punishment because I don't get out enough for it to matter. FML

#13676187
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27229) - you deserved it (5770)

On 11/01/2010 at 4:10pm - misc - by evilparents (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#13675980
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40305) - you deserved it (3913)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36427) - you deserved it (3490)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML

#13675259
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (10924)

On 11/01/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

#13675018
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (9812)

On 11/01/2010 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

#13674952
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26653) - you deserved it (5159)

On 11/01/2010 at 1:24pm - intimacy - by grimatwork (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company I work at. I have to be there in 10 minutes. I'm stuck on the toilet with the runs because I thought it would be a good idea to eat hot chicken wings last night. FML

#13674656
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11498) - you deserved it (24697)

On 11/01/2010 at 12:43pm - work - by wtf_fml_0609 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

#13673921
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36731) - you deserved it (4182)

On 11/01/2010 at 11:10am - intimacy - by crazy_mom (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it is inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

#13673860
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33330) - you deserved it (2572)

On 11/01/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)



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