About Midnightpearls
I'm just a random girl, one of many...
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Midnightpearls's FML badges
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • Inception

    You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • One ring to rule them all

    You submitted an FML, that was subsequently published, and statistically this makes you an exceptional person.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    3%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    82%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    52%
The list of badges to find
Midnightpearls's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

By blck / Thursday 1 January 2009 02:53 / United States

Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to kayak. On the way, I told him I had to go back to our hotel because I needed the bathroom and didn't want a public one to smell. Once back in the elevator at the hotel, it got stuck. For an hour. I pooped myself and had to wait 40 minutes after that for help. FML

By ItWasOurAnniversary - / Wednesday 28 September 2016 12:08 / Australia

Today, a woman threw a sandwich at me, told me to go back to "fucktard island" and demanded to see my manager. All because the mayonnaise sandwich she ordered, shockingly enough, had mayonnaise in it. FML

By xoxo_retailslave420_xoxo - / Saturday 21 May 2016 12:57 / Australia - Parramatta

Today, despite hints, suggestions, and even blatant criticism, my coworker refuses to believe he smells like rotten donkey nuts. He says he only needs to shower once a week, and that he doesn't believe in deodorant. I volunteered to do an extra autopsy today because the morgue smells better. FML

By ragnarok1540 / Thursday 18 February 2016 04:35 / United States - Philadelphia

Today, my shitburglar of an ex asked me to take him back. He said dumping me was a huge mistake. He dumped me because I was bed-ridden for several weeks and was in no condition to have sex. If his social media is anything to go by, he only wants me back because he couldn't get laid elsewhere. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 22 January 2016 19:31 / United States - Cloquet