About Il_maestro
Hello there. I am just a figment of your imagination. I'm that fun little voice that tells your conscience to shut the fuck up and let you have fun. And then I'm the one who laughs at you when you wake up the next morning half naked in jail spooning with a guy named Cupcake. And I believe Anti-flood Protection is the worst thing to ever happen to this world.
Il_maestro - Followers
Il_maestro - Followed
Il_maestro's FML badges
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    75%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    2%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    4%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    69%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    15%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    4%
The list of badges to find
Il_maestro's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

By poormom - / Saturday 27 June 2009 04:05 / United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

By offbeans - / Tuesday 17 February 2009 02:29 / United States