19478otter

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML

Today, as revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego into my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. FML