GoBlueFootball

ugh 4 July 2013, 18:28 Durban, South Africa 🌶️ Spicy

Salad days

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

57 comments

Your ass... Grab it... This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff Grand Prairie, United States

Happy America Day Mofos!

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

66 comments

anonymous This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff Saint Paul, United States

Wrong end of the stick

Today, while I was jogging, a guy tackled me and got my iPhone. Being a good runner, I caught up with him and grabbed him. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a policeman yelling in my ear. The thief got away. FML

100 comments