mely_no

Miss 31 years-old Single

imarriedanaxemurderer 18 June 2013, 05:01 Joliet, United States

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

74 comments

Anonymous 18 June 2013, 16:16 Mansfield, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Survivor!

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

103 comments