fraener

Anonymos_fmler This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff Franklin Park, United States

What's her secret?

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

64 comments

The Soul Of A Damned Queef 31 January 2015, 04:04 Dublin, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML

81 comments

Anonymous 10 March 2015, 23:15 Angleton, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Gotcha

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

104 comments