trollman202

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

Sampled

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I noticed that one of the kids selected for a test looked incredibly high. After he went into the bathroom and gave me his cup with his urine inside, I took a closer look… to see that the little shit had jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML