sammiejm

Londonderry , united states 31 years-old In a relationship

tuggernuts This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff United States 🌶️ Spicy

First time, last time

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

102 comments

great 20 July 2012, 10:20 Hamilton, New Zealand

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

147 comments