playah16

Glen Ridge, 'Murica 27 years-old Single

Anonymous 27 April 2013, 04:11 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

88 comments

IamAflyingCat 22 October 2013, 09:12 United States

Wham! Bam! Thank You Ma'am

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

178 comments