Colorado, USA 29 years-old In a relationship
Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML
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