GeekMaster6000

Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

Heated debate

Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML

Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML