katyperryluver14

Miss Livermore, North America 38 years-old Single

jessierules93 7 December 2013, 05:58 San Francisco, United States

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

55 comments

soundslikeadumbcommentersituation This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff Brampton, Canada

Hear this?

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

97 comments