Your ass... Grab it...
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Grand Prairie, United States
Happy America Day Mofos!
Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML