Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML
Today, I learned that when airport security jokes that he's going to eat your box of donuts, you should not then joke back that he shouldn’t "because the powdered sugar is really cocaine". FML
Today, on a freelancer app I use to do short-term gigs to find long-term clients for my company, a rude, demanding client dumped me for a "more experienced, successful" company. They sent me a link, saying I could learn a thing or two. I own the company. FML
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