dshively23

Mr Oregon, United States 26 years-old Single

offbeans 17 February 2009, 02:29 United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

556 comments

wtfdreams 17 May 2009, 12:33 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

792 comments