Miss Toronto, Canada 38 years-old In a relationship
Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple of pages, I saw my uncle. FML
Today, I shat out a staple. FML
Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
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