alchemist5

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Alchemist5's favorite FMLs

Rent hike to be expected

By Benji - 13/10/2008 08:32

Today, my 63-year-old neighbor jumped out of his window. I was the first to find him, alive, naked and stuck in a bush. I guess I shouldn't have laughed at him while waiting for the ambulance, because he turned out to be my landlord. FML

agreeclassic 44 397

vote type 1 24 158

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 10:52 - Australia

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

agreeclassic 40 925

vote type 1 7 787

By dundundadumb - 06/08/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

agreeclassic 31 019

vote type 1 107 752

By BeboKhaos - 04/08/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

agreeclassic 65 810

vote type 1 9 524

The force is stupid in this one

By dam01 - 02/08/2009 07:17 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says, 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my lightsaber'. FML

agreeclassic 55 584

vote type 1 10 466