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The all-time greatest FMLs

Fake it til you make it

By foreveralone15 - 24/06/2021 10:59

Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 826

Cut it off

By Anonymous - 27/06/2026 00:00 - Germany - Frankfurt am Main

Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 126

Choose your family wisely

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 22:00 - Serbia - Belgrade

Today, did you ever ask yourself if someone loves you? I have, so many times, and my answer is always nobody. I live with my grandma and my sister; my sister has one boyfriend from Russia, and my grandma has sex every night, and I feel invisible. Only my neighbor makes me feel like a real family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 146

Overly polite in public

By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was browsing the frozen section at the store when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. Thinking it was another customer, I said “Oh sorry, go ahead.” No one responded. I turned to see my own reflection in the freezer door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 134

Mom?

By Anonymous - 20/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Eastpointe

Today, I texted a friend who I met some years ago. I had been asking her for months when she wanted to get together. Each time she said how she was basically too busy. Today was different, she said she was glad for the friendship but her daughter is busier now with new things, and doesn't want to get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 129

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 02/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, while getting my MRI, I found out I had claustrophobia when I had a major panic attack and then was pulled out after only completing a single scan. I suffered through the other 10 because if that happened a second time, we'd have to reschedule after I took meds for it. I didn't even know I had claustrophobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 74

Hair care

By Anonymous - 28/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, after spending a week detangling my hair (It took a week because my hands have nerve issues) because it felt like my scalp was glued to my scalp from not being taken care of, I cut it all off. My hair got tangled in the device twice and eventually revealed a burn on my scalp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 112

Freud would have field day

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 137

OK boomer

By Haldu - 26/07/2026 22:00 - France - Dijon

Today, while waiting for the tram, I gave 50 cents to an unhoused person in his twenties. A boomer then spent exactly 7 minutes, the time it took for my tram to arrive, explaining to me that young people shouldn't be given money, otherwise they wouldn’t want to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 122

Dopamine

By Kaya Marley Ramsey - 05/10/2021 06:00

Today, Facebook stopped working and I realized how emotionally dependent I am on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 1 094

Clean break

By Anonymous - 07/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was let go from my stepmom's family business because she and my dad are getting a divorce, and she says it's too painful and awkward to have me still hired on. I can't afford a wrongful termination suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 64

Smooth moves

By Clumsy - 05/07/2025 00:00 - France - Paris

Today, I went to my usual cafe and ordered a caramel latte. As I handed back my empty cup, I gestured to compliment the barista… and knocked over a perfectly balanced tray of macarons. They scattered across the counter and floor like colorful grenades, and I spent the next 10 minutes on my hands and knees scooping pastry shells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 205

Computer says no

By Terry J - 13/11/2024 14:00 - United States - Manchester

Today, I was trying to be a responsible adult and check my credit score. I accidentally mistyped my password five times, got locked out, and had to call customer service. They asked me so many security questions, I started questioning my own identity (and sanity). FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 176

Failed the vibe check

By akvan - 23/08/2022 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I realized I don't know anything about driving if the instructor isn't sitting beside me. I realized it two minutes into my driving test, which I failed miserably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 912

Covid nostalgia

By Covid 2: Electric Boogaloo - 25/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I have to use toilet paper as a substitute for Kleenex, because I have a nasty cold and ran out. We're also snowed in where I live, so I currently can't go to the store to get some more. I think I now understand why people were hoarding this stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 166

The Voice

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 06:00

Today, I sent a voice memo of me singing off-key to my boss instead of the actual work-related attachment. My boss replied, "Don't get your hopes up, so stick to your day job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 740

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 186

Insult to injury

By Kellie82 - 11/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, the homewrecker who stole my boyfriend had the audacity to text me that I have to pay her medical bills from the pounding I gave her when I caught her and my boyfriend red-handed. She doesn’t care that I will now be a single mom of two kids and my only source of income is gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 1 043

Let's not keep in touch

By Welp - 16/01/2026 12:00

Today, I tried to reach out to an old friend. He answered the phone sounding half-asleep, then suddenly switched to an outrageously fake and racist Indian accent, and started yelling nonsense down the phone once I said my name. Guess that bridge is burned, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 108

Hi Chris!

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 12:00

Today, my coworkers surprised me with a birthday cake. It was really sweet, until I realized it was for another “Chris” who works in accounting. They only noticed after I blew out the candles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 75

I'm so tired

By Raven - 18/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 147

Thanks for nothing

By Guess I'll Die - 13/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I tried to confront my parents with the fact that they're almost certainly going to outlive me unless I radically change my lifestyle, and that I needed their assistance to help me stay on track. I only realized after my impassioned speech that they were ignoring me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 460

What is this?

By Not my dog - 23/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I paid extra for priority shipping because I desperately needed my package before the weekend. It arrived on time. It was the wrong package. I'm now the proud owner of a dog raincoat. As in a raincoat for dogs. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 75

Kinda sus, huh?

By Derek - 25/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, my best friend told me, "Dude, your girlfriend looks so much like this girl I went to high school with!" and showed me a picture of a girl with a string bikini in a semi-suggestive pose on the beach. I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't my girlfriend. He HAD to choose the skimpiest photo to compare to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 149

Clinging on

By Jeremy - 26/07/2025 00:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I did laundry after weeks of procrastinating. Feeling accomplished, I wore a freshly cleaned hoodie to work. Halfway through the day, I discovered my niece’s Paw Patrol underwear clinging to the inside of my hood. I’d been walking around with Chase the Police Dog flapping behind my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 207

Pushed it too far

By It was clean at least - 17/12/2025 20:00

Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 156

Social life

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 09:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the high point of the day was seeing someone I don't see or talk to very often, and I realized that 99% of the reason we hang out is because I get along with her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 117

Lost

By Anonymous - 25/01/2022 11:01

Today, I’ve been the proud owner of an engagement ring for about 7 hours, and I’ve just spent the last 4 of them desperately searching for the damn thing, as I’ve lost it already. I daren’t tell my partner, since he was so sure I’d lose it, he'd told me to put it in our safe, and I stubbornly refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 1 827

Teamsports

By Anonymous - 16/10/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my husband is very liberal. Normally this is a good thing, but the people across the street have put out a TRUMP sign and he's gone nuts. He built a massive HARRIS/WALZ sign in our front yard and is hassling the rest of the neighborhood about it. Half of them are putting out TRUMP signs out of spite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 479

Good boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Myrtle Beach

Today, I bought a fancy automatic ball launcher for my dog. When I demonstrated it, my dog watched the ball fly through the air, then charged at the launcher instead, thinking it was the toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 125

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The Top

Today, I was on a friend's trampoline trying to convince my mom that trampolines are safe and we should get one. While telling her, I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 481

You deserved it 35 069

Today, my new husband of two weeks attempted to solicit sex from a hooker. He tried to excuse himself by saying, "I would never cheat on you! I was just looking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 458

You deserved it 593

Today, it's been one week since spicing things up with mine and my husband's sex life by involving whipped cream. We can now smell of out of date diary, no matter what soap products we use showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 813

Today, my 6”8 boyfriend is scared to death of his 5”2 mother to the point where it’s not funny, it’s quite concerning. He dropped a full pan of chilli in our house and cleaned it so obsessively in case his mom found out, in our house. I’m almost afraid to ask what went on in his childhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 166

Today, like every day, everyone blew up my phone at once and I began having a panic attack. Because I didn’t respond immediately, I was called rude and a bad person. Turning off my phone isn’t an option either, because my mom will come in my room and cuss me out for not responding to her texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 967

Today, I'm diagnosed with a terminal liver cancer. I live abroad, away from my family, so I called them and asked them to come visit me, possibly for the last time. I even offered to pay for the travel both ways. The mother, with a quite indifferent tone, declined my offer and hung up the fuckin' phone on me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 78