Today, I was told that the cute rhyming nickname I gave to my daughter’s best friend is actually the name of an adult performer. I feel gross, even though I truly had no idea. Now the girl asks me why I don’t call her that anymore and I don’t know what to tell her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we got our daughter's birth certificate. Turns out my husband thought it would be funny to give her a middle name, which we never discussed, and he picked one to sound funny. Not actually going to tell the internet her name, but it’s as bad as calling a boy Ben Dover. I’m furious. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. An ex? A friend? A side guy? Nope, none of those. I called him “Dad”. FML
Today, I accidentally called my friend by the wrong name. She's no longer speaking to me, because she thinks I have absolutely zero respect for her, and don’t care about her at all. In reality, she just looks exactly like the person whose name I called her by. FML
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
Today, I found out my son’s middle name was named after my wife’s muscled up highschool ex-boyfriend who cheated on her and who she sometimes still brings up. She tells me it’s nothing and still acts like I’m crazy for communicating my worry to her. FML
Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML
Today, my best friend sent me a postcard. She’s been calling me by my nickname for so long that she wrote the wrong name on it. FML
Today, I accidentally called my cute boss "Babe." I now have to pretend it's what I call everyone, and start calling all my coworkers "Babe." FML
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Top comments
smoochmysnoot 6
Come up with an appropriate new nickname, and tell her that this new name suits her better. No need to tell her about the former nickname, just say that the new one is cuter and matches her better. Best of luck!
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Comments (1)
smoochmysnoot 6
Come up with an appropriate new nickname, and tell her that this new name suits her better. No need to tell her about the former nickname, just say that the new one is cuter and matches her better. Best of luck!