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The all-time greatest FMLs

Put your back into it!

By Anonymous - 22/11/2025 20:00

Today, my boyfriend tried to claim he can’t eat me out because he has a short tongue, a genuine medical condition that means he can’t do it properly. Funny, because I’ve seen him use that short tongue to completely clean out a Cadbury Creme Egg before without issue. He’s now sulking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 101

Artwork

By willbo - 18/02/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my roommate sent me a picture of his shit. I don’t know what’s worse, the caption saying “3 lbs” or the fact that it was all one gigantic piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 91

Ball and chain

By Anonymous - 30/06/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home and went to hug and kiss my wife. She actively dodged me and gave me a list of nine things she wanted fixed around the house while she was out with her sister. I’m writing this from a pub garden, surrounded by people who actually enjoy my company. Fuck her list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 299

You what now?

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, my rowing coach asked my teammates and me a question that I couldn’t quite hear. The answer should’ve been, “We rowed in pairs today” and I responded, “Only in Central Park.” The question was, “How did you row today?” not, “Have you rowed?” There was a long moment of silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 265

Such a disappointment

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 18:00

Today, my son joined the ranks of an organisation filled with nothing but scum, villains, thieves, and highwaymen. He's now a tax inspector. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 873

Dementia

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 22:00

Today, my former boss called to bitch me out for some computer issue he emailed me to fix three days ago. I quit my job there 7 months ago, and I had to hand my phone to my new manager to convince my old boss I really did quit and wasn’t just avoiding fixing the computer problem. Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 67

Welcome to the machine

By Lol - 31/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Austin

Today, after I spent the last year working overtime to prove myself at my tech job, I got an email saying I was laid off due to “strategic restructuring.” My boss posted a vacation picture right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 82

Chipping in

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 13/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 137

Gooner

By Anonymous - 15/12/2024 20:00

Today, I had to teach my son to use private browsing because his porn keeps appearing in the search history. It worked, it’s no longer in the history, but he has added his favourite videos as tabs on the favourites bar. Either he’s a bigger idiot than I thought or he’s doing it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 165

Righteous fury

By Anonymous - 30/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Draper

Today, I found out my brother-in-law did time last year for being a pedophile. His mommy told my spouse to tell no one that he served time. I'm the sister-in-law and no one told the sister who has young daughters. The pedo is mommy's precious boy who can't do wrong. He did this time. How dare mommy protect him like that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 80

Concentrate!

By Clowning - 03/05/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was at a job interview. I was doing OK until I reached the part where I had to do a demo. As I lifted my arms, I my shirt got caught on the button of my pants, exposing my belly button. I tried to discreetly adjust, I ended up getting way too distracted mid-demonstration. The interviewer looked at me like I was a circus act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 132

They're all out to get me

By Anonymous - 21/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, we drove for four days across states. My dad refused to let us go into the amusement park or check into the hotel we'd traveled for. The park is now cashless and he swears that it’s a government conspiracy to monitor and control us. He made us sleep in the car before going home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 69

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 186

ALIENS!

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I had to give a presentation on ancient civilizations. As a joke, my friend dared me to do the whole thing using puppets, which I thought it would be hilarious. Halfway through, I noticed the look on my professor's face and my classmates giggling. My professor has a phobia of puppets and I was the only one unaware of this fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 173

Baby fever

By mala_19 - 06/07/2023 18:00 - Sweden - Burea

Today, I've eaten two pieces of fruit, three crackers, and 3.5 glasses of juice. I've also vomited 3 times and peed myself once. Can someone please tell me why I thought it would be a good idea to get pregnant again? FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 689

Quiet life

By Anonymous - 10/12/2024 12:00

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 314

Big baby

By Grow the fuck up, boy! - 29/10/2025 00:00

Today, I told my 15 year-old son that I was taking my wife to a fancy restaurant for her birthday, so he would be on his own tonight. Most teenagers would play video games, watch porn, and sneak a beer, which I would be okay with. He started crying and asked why he was "left out", then clung to my wife's leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 184

Just shut up already!

By Anonymous - 18/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my sister went from choosing not to have kids because they just aren’t for her to being obnoxiously childfree. We can’t have a single conversation without her ranting about how much she hates children, and parents are pathetic losers. I have three kids and don’t want her around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 92

Doesn't everyone do this?

By Anonymous - 20/05/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out why my boyfriend takes so long in the bathroom. Apparently he has a system for shitting he’s very OCD about: he has to be naked in case poo touches any of his clothes, he has to wipe stood up with one leg elevated, and the whole process takes 10x longer than it should. FFS! FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 131

Sending hugs

By Anonymous - 12/08/2025 09:00 - United States - North Augusta

Today, my mental illness hit rock bottom when I caught myself wishing I was buried next to my dog because nothing makes me happy anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 67

Cut off

By Anonymous - 19/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Irving

Today, my former sister-in-law, who I was once so close to, said that we can't be friends or anything like that anymore because now that she's divorced from my cheating asshole brother, it's too painful for her to be around our family, even for the sake of my kids. I hate him so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 58

Scaredy cats

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 11:59 - United States - Steele

Today, I saw my cat lying in the bathroom. A few seconds later, I noticed that he looked like he was dead. After going into a panic and quickly running to make sure he was okay, he woke up and glared at me. Later, he was sleeping in the exact same position, and I once again though he was dead. This cat, I swear… FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 775

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 28/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I found out I was single by scrolling through Facebook and seeing my (now ex) boyfriend's relationship as "single." I was at work, in the middle of my shift. I haven't been electronically dumped since Middle School. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 86

What even is normal?

By Anonymous - 23/01/2025 00:00 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, after months and months of trying to get my blood pressure back up to normal, and try to get back to optimal health, my doctor told me I'll never get better for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 68

Truth bomb

By Hoo boy - 09/04/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, my wife was snoring in my ear. I nudged her, and she rolled over and started talking in her sleep. I listened, because it was funny, until I heard, quite clearly, "My husband is a dumbass, he's got no idea." No idea of what, exactly? FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 94

Shut up!

By Unfun funeral - 01/11/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I went to my uncle's funeral. His eulogy was ruined by an annoying little kid repeatedly talking over the pastor, who didn't pause for anything, no matter how many times his parents told him to stop. The complimentary lunch was horrible, and the hearse driving him to the cemetery got into an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 80

Loose lips sink friendships

By Anonymous - 20/03/2026 15:00

Today, I overheard my best friend laughing and calling my fiance lame and stupid, all because he proposed to me with a bouquet instead of a ring. And here I was about to ask if she would be my maid of honor… FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 68

Knackered

By Fucking go away - 11/10/2025 12:00

Today, I told my girlfriend I was exhausted and wanted a nap. She decided to join me, then got bored and started watching Instagram reels blasting the same five seconds of some awful Cardi B "song." She got pissed when I asked her to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 89

Rules are for squares

By He's old enough to know better! - 08/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my boss's oldest son challenged me to a chess game. I've been practicing a lot, so I decided to humor him. He was a challenging opponent; not because he was skilled, however, but because he was trying to cheat almost constantly. I felt exasperated, rather than accomplished, when I beat him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 74

Martial Arts Feels

By FML Approved - 29/08/2017 22:27 - France - Paris

Martial arts instructors have feelings too!

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 154

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The Top

Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock, finances, and three members of staff. I realised that despite all my extra work, I actually earn less per hour than the students who only work on the weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 995

You deserved it 2 766

Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 947

You deserved it 3 348

Today, I woke up after taking a sleeping pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores, including paying bills, when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 184

You deserved it 12 218

Today, I was driving on the freeway. I shut my windows and sunroof when I started to feel heavy rain hitting me in the face and shoulder. I was confused by the rain because the sun was bright and there was blue, cloudless sky. Then I saw the large trash truck in front of me spewing "trash juice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 772

You deserved it 3 318

Today, I'm a social media manager, and a client complained about having to put forward her personality to gain followers, also refusing to promote her works personally on camera. She's an actress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 106

Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 781