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The all-time greatest FMLs

Not now!

By virgin - 25/11/2018 20:00

Today, I was excited because tomorrow I was going to lose my virginity. I just used the bathroom; I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 128

Roadblocked

By Anonymous - 28/02/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of my house at 6:30am to find that some road workers had dug out a trench in the road right in front of my driveway, then fucked off, leaving their van up the street. There are no buses within walking distance so I missed a full day of work and my boss is pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 68

Dizzy

By Anonymous - 21/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I fainted in my bathroom, full on naked and sprawled out on my bathroom floor. When I came to, I was in pain from landing on my side and very disoriented. I sat up and could see my husband just roll over in bed and go to sleep. He didn’t even ask me if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 83

Festive spirit ruined

By MF. - 19/12/2024 03:00 - North Macedonia

Today, I won't be getting any Christmas presents because the Secret Santa activity I take part in was canceled. Why? Some jerks messaged racial slurs to the organizers, who decided volunteering to do something fun for people wasn't worth the abuse. Thanks, idiots (and my apologies to the organizers). FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 114

Never again

By Phillip - 20/01/2025 03:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I ordered a pizza with extra cheese and no tomatoes. The pizza delivery guy handed me the box, and as I opened it, I discovered that they had delivered me a pizza… with only tomatoes and no cheese. I called the pizza place to complain, but they just said, “Well, tomatoes are technically fruit, so it’s healthy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 113

By sigh... - 25/06/2010 06:44 - United States

Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 119

At least you can you can do it in your underwear

By Anonymous - 03/10/2022 01:01

Today, after I missed in school for two and a half weeks, I also missed three tests. Now I gotta work for all of them during my holidays and read two books for school. My holidays are just gonna be like school, but with more work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 814

Short king

By 26 year old - 30/11/2023 16:00

Today, I'm at the age where I'm supposed to be having the time of my life. I'm short and look so young that I get asked if I'm still in high school. Every girl I've ever known looks at me like a "little brother". The only girls who have shown interest are still too young to vote. I'm missing out on my 20s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 158

By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 05:14 - United States - Stockbridge

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 127

Happy Christmas your arse, I pray God it's our last

By Anonymous - 14/12/2024 22:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, It’s almost been a year since my husband dumped me which was on… Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 100

Missed the boat

By dyl - 09/01/2024 15:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, things I was bullied for such as having online friends, playing Roblox, Steam, and other video games, are now seen as cool. I wished I could have a social life as a teenager and turned to online gaming because nobody wanted to invite me out with them. Apparently, teens socialize over that now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 160

By TBTC - 31/08/2012 07:16 - France - Le G?vre

Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 58

No nut will do that

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 1 587

You idiot!

By Anonymous - 28/10/2019 22:00

Today, I didn't want to hang out with my girlfriend so I could binge watch Pawn Stars instead. When she asked me why not, I lied not very convincingly and said my mom was sick and needed my help. She now thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 3 137

Better safe than sorry

By Topher - 31/01/2026 12:00

Today, my boss said I had to complete "Cyber Security Awareness Training" or face repercussions. For 33 years, I've never needed a computer for my job or needed one to perform my job. In fact, the job forbids having a laptop or phone with you while doing the job. Did I happen to mention that I'm a lifeguard? FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 83

Healthcare needs fixing

By Anonymous - 03/11/2023 06:00

Today, I found out I need surgery, and the state medicaid insurance denied me full coverage for it, since my income is "over the limit". I make 35,000 a year and live in one of the most expensive states. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 112

Cheap ass

By Anonymous - 12/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, on our drive down to California to work on a contract worth 20k with my husband (we own our business and work together), he refused to spend $50 on RV parking, so we didn't get to sleep all night, all because it was hot and the rest-stop was scary. We have two young kids and a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 116

Never too old for freedom

By Anonymous - 11/06/2023 00:02

Today, my last grown child moved out and into their own place. As I stood in my house, which was finally empty and quiet for the first time in 37 years, all I could think was, "THANK GOD THOSE IRRITATING SODS ARE GONE, I HAVE MY LIFE BACK, BUT DAMN IT, I’M TOO OLD TO HAVE REAL FUN ANYMORE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 841

Pissed

By mommy2004 - 18/07/2023 03:00

Today, my nineteen year-old boyfriend dumped me and kicked me out of his place where I was staying. All because my two year-old peed on his couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 967

Boiling point

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I had to stay up until 5 AM running complex queries, one at a time, for a comprehensive report requested by our head of accounting. Instead of a "Thank you!", I got a message from my supervisor telling me to re-run them all, as he had messed up a single calculation. Coffee jitters aren't why I'm shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 109

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 21:59

Today, for my husband's birthday next weekend, I booked a holiday which he was happy about… until I told him it was a surprise family holiday so I'd invited his kids and their families. Now he doesn’t want to go and has made up a fake work emergency. He’s a bus driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 1 282

Recycled

By Anonymous - 20/02/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife told me to my face that I’m the reason climate change is killing babies. All I did was throw a snotty hankie in the bin instead of composting it to be used in her vegetable patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 106

Behave yourselves

By DogStew - 16/11/2023 08:00

Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 108

Pissed

By fishbearpig - 27/01/2024 12:00 - Romania - Cluj-Napoca

Today, we're in the middle of remodeling our bathroom and the hallway of our apartment. We hired a great guy and he does a really good job, but there's a lot of dust and no way to clean properly until everything is done. My wife is pissed with me because I work from home and don't clean everything every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 149

Crap

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I hurt my back at work due to faulty, outdated, and just crap equipment. Workers’ comp offered me two Tylenols and a pamphlet about "mindfulness over medical bills." FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 65

Black Mirror type shit

By Kareen - 04/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Austin

Today, out of desperation, I tried a new AI therapist app. Mid-session, it paused and asked, “Before we continue, would you like to upgrade to Premium for $9.99?” My mental breakdown was not included in the free trial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 218

Very suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 05/06/2025 15:00 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my boyfriend says he is not cheating, because he has "not met them." He just follows half-naked women, likes only the most revealing pictures, and messages them in private. But yes, he is "not cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 147

Classico

By Anonymous - 28/08/2025 20:00 - France - Nogent-sur-Marne

Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 139

Soggy mess

By Baffled - 04/03/2025 12:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my wife went and bought a set of fancy, expensive towels and threw all our old towels away. These new towels don't dry. I've been rubbing myself for ten minutes and I'm still wet. How did she buy expensive, broken towels? How do you make a towel that doesn't dry? FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 92

One in hole

By Anonymous - 17/10/2025 03:00

Today, I had to sneak a ladder into a cemetery at midnight because my husband got drunk with his buddies, decided to visit his mother's grave, and in the dark he fell into a fresh grave and couldn’t climb out. Not many women can say they’ve seen their husbands climb out of the grave I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 116

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was unsuccessful at a job interview, and she didn't want to be with someone who "has no future". She's unemployed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 156

You deserved it 4 058

Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 184

You deserved it 2 782

Today, while walking to my bus stop, I saw a girl slip on black ice, then catch herself, and I laughed because people catching themselves slip are hilarious. I reach the same patch of black ice and go flying, falling on my hip and spilling my coffee all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 3 698

Today, I asked my family not to disturb me while I slept, as I had hit over 72 hours of insomnia. My family must have heard me say, “Come in every 20 minutes and wake me up with whatever banal shit you can think of.” I gave up when my mother-in-law decided to enter my room and start vacuuming the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 121

Today, my chair abruptly fell apart completely while I was sitting on it. I didn't even do anything. Have I really gained that much weight? FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 190

Today, the most obnoxious customer came into my job. She surprisingly scrutinized everything I did. She even mentioned I didn’t offer our store credit card (I honestly forgot due to being overwhelmed by her rude attitude). Turns out she was a secret shopper. Apparently, I failed her little tests. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 154