Today, my last grown child moved out and into their own place. As I stood in my house, which was finally empty and quiet for the first time in 37 years, all I could think was, "THANK GOD THOSE IRRITATING SODS ARE GONE, I HAVE MY LIFE BACK, BUT DAMN IT, I’M TOO OLD TO HAVE REAL FUN ANYMORE." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, our youngest child finally moved out of our house. I went to embrace my wife and say something romantic about us growing old together, but she said, "Thank God they're gone, I can finally leave you." An hour later, she was gone too. FML
Today, and for the last few months, I finally have enough money to be able to move into my own place. I can finally have girls over. I am also at the age of 26, where most girls stop wanting to go over to a guy's house. I wish I was 18 again, when independence is seen as new and sexy. FML
Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML
Today, our youngest daughter bought her first house and moved out, meaning all three of our kids are now gone, so we can relax and gracefully grow old together, right? Nope. Barely an hour later, my wife showed me a positive pregnancy test. In nine months we have to start all over again. FML
Today, I just bought my own house after divorcing my wife of 30 years. We'd been childless by her choice, and as I stood in my new living room, looking at the emptiness, I couldn’t help the feeling I just bought a 2-storey, £125,000 coffin that I’ll one day die alone and be buried in. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I moved into my own place, so I decided to visit my parents. I rang to ask for a good time to come over but all I got was basically, "Nope, you’re moved out now, a grown up, no longer our problem, ring us when you get some girl pregnant with our first grandbaby, bye." FML
Today, I'm moving out of the house. My little sister can't wait and I've never seen my dad so happy. FML
Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML
Today, at 30 years-old, I can finally move out. I could have chosen an apartment close to work, but instead I decided to stay close to where my mother lives. Since I told her, she's been complaining that I'm selfish and I'm creating a lot of problems for her by moving so far away. I'll be living half a block from her. FML
Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Anderling 33
You’re never too old to have fun. Go enjoy your regained freedom
Hangryko 32
Why did you have kids if you hate them?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
Anderling 33
You’re never too old to have fun. Go enjoy your regained freedom
Hangryko 32
Why did you have kids if you hate them?
Amanda Marie Nehez 13
I mean, that's what happens when you have kids. That's also why I'll never have them lol
Melisssa 3
In 20 years you will look back and think you were so young now
RichardPencil 32
Fathers' Day is coming up. I'm guessing you're not expecting much from the IRRITATING SODS.
Marjo86 29
wow, such a loving parent…