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The all-time greatest FMLs

Another betrayal

By Anonymous - 14/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Niles

Today, I found out that my fiance has been cheating on me. We have an 8 month-old baby together. I've been trying to help him get sober again and have done my best to be a great partner, but apparently some other girl is more important than the family he was creating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 142

Office politics

By Anonymous - 04/06/2024 00:00

Today, I was turned down for a promotion because of complaints on my file. I’d never heard of them, so I demanded to see them. Every complaint was filed in the last six months and signed by either him or the other manager who doesn’t like me. Guess who got promoted instead? His “secret” side chick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 84

Goofs and gaffes

By Chelsea - 23/02/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 250

The blame game

By Anonymous - 09/11/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife is mad because she forgot our anniversary. Not me, her. She thought it was today and got mad at me for having nothing planned. It’s tomorrow, and I do have stuff planned for us. So she’s mad at me because she got it wrong and felt like an idiot, which is somehow my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 92

Cheating with the showerhead

By Anonymous - 12/12/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife shouted at me for masturbating in the shower, because, "It’s disgusting." She hasn’t touched me sexually in two years FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 138

By Oh. - 23/07/2019 02:00

Today, I told my dad that failing to kill yourself must be really awful, because you think you’ve failed your life and then you even fail your death. My dad who, as I recalled when he shot me a sour look, tried to commit suicide during his youth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 2 536

No contact from now on

By lordoftheweird - 13/08/2023 14:00 - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my family why using a registered sex offender as a babysitter is a bad idea. They didn't understand and now my grandmother can't see her grandkids, and my dad is facing a lengthy prison sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 99

Blame game

By Anonymous - 05/04/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad tried to blame me for ringing an out of network number for two hours, which charged his bill by the minute. I rang the number, which turned out to belong to one of his business pals who lives abroad. He punished me anyway for having an attitude when I proved the call was his fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 110

Monday morning sucks

By Linds - 28/06/2021 14:01

Today, I came home to find that maggots had taken over my garbage can this weekend. We weren't home to catch it, and I didn't use the garbage this morning. On top of that, I hadn't had my caffeine for the day because I ran out and forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 293

Love is love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2024 12:00 - Sierra Leone

Today, it was my best friend's wedding. The night ended with her in tears outside her hotel suite, where she confessed that she has a serious crush on me. I have a serious crush on her too. We're both straight women. I'm really confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 184

First time for everything

By Anonymous - 02/02/2024 12:00 - United States - Hoffman

Today, I've been sneezing and coughing and not feeling well, so I decided to go to the grocery store to get some bone broth and some orange juice. Shortly after grabbing the orange juice, I felt like I had to pass gas, except it wasn't gas, it was diarrhea. At 35 years-old I pooped my pants in the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 181

Threesome weirdness

By Anonymous - 08/10/2020 02:01

Today, my roommate informed me that I need to move out, due to me having sex with his boyfriend. Even though he gave us permission, and told us to use protection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 1 293

By hanenhh - 01/12/2013 10:58 - Tunisia

Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me, but the only one I own has grey skulls printed on it. Yes, she took it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 65

Women be smiling

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 03:00

Today, it's not enough that men IRL tell me to smile, now the dating apps have OK'd this and decided it's fine to send me email with a stock phrase saying, "[Match's name] wants to see you smile back!" Online dating is the bane of my existence but also my best bet for not being single forever. Curse you, eHarmony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 309

Tired

By Anonymous - 30/03/2023 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I left home to go to work, only to find that my car had a flat tyre. No problem, I thought, I'll just change it. That's when I discovered that I'd left my spare tyre at the mechanic's last time I had a flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 291

Reflex

By Lance - 07/07/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I realised that I have been a teacher for far too long when I told a random stranger I saw at the mall to tie up their shoelaces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 242

Can't we all just get along?

By Anonymous - 20/07/2023 03:00

Today, while celebrating my birthday, my family found time after a few drinks to start at least one argument, if not more, and drove me to biting my nails off. I don't even remember the last time that happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 157

Make it stop!

By NotSoWise - 16/10/2023 15:30 - Ireland - Waterford

Today, after a year or more of suffering with wisdom tooth pain, I finally had all 4 removed a few days ago. Relief? No. I’m in more pain now than I’ve ever been, and I can’t even eat for comfort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 144

Wipe time

By brad - 16/04/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I came home and walked into my living room to see my roommate passed out naked, porn autoplaying on the living room TV, a killed 12-case of beer, and dried jizz all over the couch from God knows how many loads. “I thought you were coming home tomorrow,” he said. At least the sofa is leather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 150

She noped out of that one

By Anonymous - 27/03/2023 06:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I'd planned a surprise party for my best friend's birthday. However, she apparently found out about it and told me at the last minute she couldn't make it, probably to avoid being the center of attention. I'd already invited all of our mutual friends, so I had to awkwardly cancel the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 577

Teenage riot

By Anonymous - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I finally had it with the redneck bully who's been tormenting me. He was repeatedly poking and pinching me and laughing out loud during class, so I slung him to the ground, pinning him. I got suspended. They only called his parents, who never do anything; my "caring" parents are looking into teen boot camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 111

Flustered

By Sara Princess - 09/04/2023 02:00

Today, as I was about to get onto the bus, my bus pass fell out of my hands. Being in a rush, I barely picked it up from the street not having a good grasp of it, just to have it fall again as I was about to swipe it. It felt like the whole bus was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 231

Hang in there

By DryEyes - 27/12/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, my son has a broken arm and is crying because he wants to take the cast off. As soon as he stops crying, my stepson starts crying because he wants a cast too. My wife is also crying, because she feels guilty that our son broke his arm. Six weeks until the cast comes off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 143

Mom definitely doesn't know best

By Anonymous - 07/03/2026 03:00

Today, my homophobic ex-wife was awarded full custody of our gay son, who she tried to disown. She has every intention of putting him in "conversion therapy" and there's nothing I can do about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 112

FML's Showdown #13

By Louis - 14/06/2017 21:30

Another selection of contenders for this week's crown, with this time bad dance moves coming under close scrutiny.

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 187

Iconic

By Anonymous - 05/12/2023 06:00

Today, I went to a party that had a "dress like rock stars" theme. I got all the gear necessary to dress as Ozzy Osbourne. A wig, round sunglasses, a crucifix on beads, the usual stuff. Not one person at the party knew who Ozzy Osbourne was. Nor Black Sabbath for that matter. Someone thought I was Meatloaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 136

Screens

By IAKT - 23/02/2024 00:00 - Romania - Corbeanca

Today, I got home from a hard day and sent a project due tomorrow from my laptop. While I was in the bathroom, my parents took my laptop, which is all paid by me for no reason. I tried telling them multiple times that I have 3 projects due this week, but they said that's not a reason to stay on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 93

Walking red flag

By Anonymous - 04/06/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my creepy-ass stalker ex-boyfriend has been telling everyone that my two year-old daughter is his. Not only have we been broken up for more than 8 years. I haven’t spoken to him since, and I have no idea why he’s doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 91

Explain yourself!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Tamworth

Today, my boyfriend of four years proposed, and I said yes! Not even three hours later, I got a text message asking if we could just be friends instead. He won't tell me what changed, and doesn't feel like he owes me any explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 88

Pansexuality awaits you

By Anonymoys - 22/02/2021 17:01

Today, I realized that the guy that I've liked for the past 7 months is actually a girl. I've told all my friends about how much I like him, but no one bothered to tell me that he's actually a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 756

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The Top

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 150

You deserved it 12 312

Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 278

Today, my stepdaughter proudly showed off her new tattoo. It says "Jace’s place" in sloppy script on her lower belly. She’s 15. Jace is a boy she’s been seeing for 3 months. She got the tattoo in "some guy’s garage." It happened during her weekend visit with her father. Hello teenage rebellion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 930

You deserved it 194

Today, I went to change my socks after I stepped in a puddle of water. As I walked out of my bedroom with a fresh pair of socks, I stepped in the puddle again. Three times. That's four pairs of socks ruined. God, I'm such a dumbass sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 1 169

Today, I sent a voice memo of me singing off-key to my boss instead of the actual work-related attachment. My boss replied, "Don't get your hopes up, so stick to your day job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 740

Today, my parents said that we're never going to see our grandparents again because my grandpa hit my asshole little brother with a belt for calling him a boomer. I love my grandparents so much but my parents won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 257