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The all-time greatest FMLs

Inked

By Rubach - 13/06/2021 02:01

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my dad will die without knowing I have tattoos on my body. I'm afraid my dad will suffer a deadly heart attack due to the revelation, as he had two heart failures in the past. My dad is still the sort of person who thinks that people with tattoos are criminals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 381

Gutsy move

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, dealing with anxiety and depression, I finally got up the energy to bake. I chose homemade enchiladas. I then spent the whole day walking from the toilet to the nearest couch (and vice versa), feeling like my intestines were going to blow. No more enchiladas for me for a long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 219

Hang in there

By Trinity - 11/05/2023 06:00

Today, I have been dealing with painful lymphedema and I'd finally got a doctor's appointment, but they called and cancelled last minute. Here's to another week being in pain… FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 85

Low effort

By kya - 29/01/2021 03:31

Today, my mother, who works in retail, wears her mask around my dad and my siblings, but deliberately takes it off around me. I always knew she hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 116

5 Yelp stars

By Jeff89 - 16/05/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist to get a cavity filled. As the dentist was drilling, he accidentally hit a nerve and I ended up screaming in pain. The whole office heard me and now I'm too embarrassed to go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 138

After careful consideration…

By Newgenmom - 18/12/2020 20:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my husband I might want a baby, so he took me to visit his best friend who has a toddler and we stayed for an hour. I no longer want a baby. I want the pill wrapped in 2 condoms and a joint vasectomy/hysterectomy paid for with my non-baby disposable income, and my husband now has a shit eating grin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 1 715

Flummoxed

By Pastry boiii - 10/07/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, it’s been three hours since my girlfriend starting giving me the silent treatment. I went to the bakery to buy some pastries, so I asked her if she wanted any before I left. She said “No.” I came home with one pastry for myself and she threw a tantrum because she'd said “No” to see if I would get her one anyway. I’m confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 215

We love our short kings

By Anonymous - 30/03/2023 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I’m a short but decently attractive male but I can’t gain enough confidence to approach women, because of the trauma from female classmates treating me terribly in high school when I was still short, but also still going through puberty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 228

Social safety net please

By Anonymous - 12/06/2022 06:00

Today, I aced a job interview with my favourite start up. I really want to work there, but with my baby and toddler, chores, and general lack of support system, I can't pursue my dream job. Which I would screw up heavily from fatigue even if I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 332

Eww, roommate from hell

By jill - 10/03/2021 05:01

Today, I discovered that when I sleep, I go to the bathroom to poop and don’t flush the toilet. I live with three roommates who all wake up before I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 367

Warren Zevon wrote bangers

By The song is "Excitable Boy" - 03/01/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I've been trying to find and revisit a song that my dad listened to all the time when I was a kid, and I finally found it. Except now I'm old enough to realize the lyrics are about a psychotic man who gets put in a "home" for things I cannot put in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 145

It's a beautiful life

By Anonymous - 18/10/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, as he'd realised that life is really short, and he's got to enjoy with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 202

Lonely, so lonely

By Mike - 19/10/2021 14:01

Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 126

I smell winter

By Anonymous - 19/01/2021 17:02

Today, in my mom’s house, I can stay in one of two rooms: The one that's clean, tidy, quiet and has a comfortable seat… or the one that's warm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 139

New mommies

By Anonymous - 07/01/2023 21:00

Today, for the third time, my ex-husband sent another new girlfriend to pick up our kids. It’s crazy that the court sees nothing wrong with his parading a stream of women, which could be dangerous to our kids. The judge said that as long as he keeps up with visitation and child support, there’s nothing I can do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 989

Denied

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 14:02

Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 308

The sweet sighs of disappointment

By ThatGuyWhoRolled - 05/01/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I was up against two others in a 120m race on my school's sports day. Unexpectedly, I heard my name being chanted from most of the classes watching and well, this made me want to win so much that I leaned forward too much whilst running and ended up tripping and rolling on the track. I heard loud sighs after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 415

No control over my limbs

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I was at the gym and I tripped on the treadmill. Not only did I fall off the machine, I also managed to knock over two other people's water bottles and send them flying across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 188

Feeders

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 23:01

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me, after he intentionally made me fat so that I wouldn't leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 1 005

I wanna get off!

By Anonymous - 08/06/2023 18:00

Today, I ride my bike 5.5 miles every day to get to and from work. My job is filled with a bunch of melodramatic 40-something year-old men that can't take a joke. I'm $10,000 in debt. I don't speak to my family or old friends, as they're no good and I'm trying to change my life trying but feel like I'm getting nowhere. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 271

One, two, three, four…

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 06:00 - Canada

Today, I thought I was having a nice day at work, until I had a client who paid me $376 in rolls made of 0.05 and 0.10. It took me an hour to count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 119

Yummy

By Anonymous - 08/09/2021 23:01 - Germany - Dresden

Today, after thinking only dogs needed chew-toys, I learned my lesson after my kittens ate my menstrual cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 371

Intervention

By Anonymous - 25/12/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we all got together and showed Dad, with evidence from our ring doorbell and our phone recordings, that I’m the only one he shouts at, yet with everyone else he controls his temper perfectly. The end result? He sent everyone out so he could yell at me about violating his privacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 143

Repressed memories

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 00:00 - Australia

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about my uncle who committed suicide when I was younger. When I tried to remember his name, my mind went completely blank. It was bugging me all day, until I remembered halfway through the movie we were watching. It took me a whole day to remember my deceased uncle's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 186

Money for whining

By Anonymous - 15/05/2021 05:59 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 141

The price of partying

By Rafael - 06/12/2021 17:01

Today, and since I went to a club with a few friends for the first time two days ago, I now have tinnitus, which still persists and I'm worried it might be permanent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 264

Just a prank, bro

By Lucas - 11/02/2022 06:00

Today, our boss gave me and my team a final warning, because of a prank that one of my workmates played on him. It isn't the first time shit happens. The boss won't let us dispute it, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 226

Weaponized

By Anonymous - 17/06/2023 00:02 - Canada - Kirkland

Today, in the middle of a rough separation, my soon-to-be-ex-wife, who refuses to acknowledge it's over, told the children that I'm still going with them on that long-planned family vacation. The children are ecstatic; I however might be a bit less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 194

There's still hope, somewhere…

By John - 21/02/2025 09:00

Today, like every day for the past few weeks, I watched the richest man in the world, who was never elected to any office, tear my government apart to make himself and his friends richer. We're so fucked. I'm so afraid for my family and loved ones. I don't know how to cope or protect them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 482

Can't be bothered

By Anonymous - 07/05/2024 20:00 - Germany

Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 199

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The Top

Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 503

You deserved it 2 130

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 700

You deserved it 41 183

Today, I uploaded a video to YouTube. I have around 20k subscribers, so I'm not a huge deal. I used a "fail" sound effect. I just got an email from YouTube saying that I got a copyright strike. They told me that it was the 4-second sound effect. They copyrighted 4 seconds of my video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 526

Today, my son's yearbook came. I was pretty happy, as I'd also ordered a larger version of his photo because he's going to California for college and I wanted a special picture of him to keep. Unfortunately, my happiness disappeared when I saw that he was wearing a horse mask in the photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 596

You deserved it 797

Today, my bandmates showed up to our gig drunk. Our drummer kept losing the rhythm and the lead guitarist was more concerned about staying drunk than playing the right notes. In the middle of a song, they both gave up, put down their instruments, and kept sipping a beer, while at least cheering me on while I finished it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 140

Today, I managed to wash my phone with my laundry. I didn’t realize it was in my jeans until I heard a thudding noise. After rescuing it from the depths of soggy clothes, I tried the rice trick to dry it out. A few hours later, my cat thought it was a new litter tray and promptly pissed in the rice, then spread it all over the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 236