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Nice try

By clumsy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 972

You deserved it 54 649

Morning!

By whydoihavecats - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 851

You deserved it 2 733

Freakout

By LoLWut?? nd Why?? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 752

You deserved it 48 225

I'm a loser, baby

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I felt like too much of a loser to go to a Christmas party, since I'd be the only one going without a date. I had to invent imaginary friends who were "coming into town for the holidays" to feel like less of a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 684

You deserved it 10 040

Resting bitch face

By Emily - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 666

You deserved it 3 066

Morning commute

By muffdriver - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 653

You deserved it 4 293

Thanks, Dad

By jasonnn - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I brought a girl home. My dad's first reaction was to pull out the camera and snap away. She now won't reply to my texts or calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 653

You deserved it 2 456

Oh no…

By Lentil - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 641

You deserved it 4 042

Hierarchy of problems

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Arlington Heights

Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 583

You deserved it 2 971

Memorable presentation

By paul - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 575

You deserved it 4 883

Careful

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 512

You deserved it 18 384

Rising Damp

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I'm the only one at work in a small office. The water tank sprung a leak. Guess who had to call the boss and get instructions via cell phone to turn it off? I can't even leave the office to change my soaked clothes, because I need to wait for an important phone call. Seven hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 489

You deserved it 2 524

Welcome back

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 473

You deserved it 2 323

Ouroboros

By TheSuregeon - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I applied for my job, while working at my job. I hope they hire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 439

You deserved it 6 016

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 436

You deserved it 2 987

That went well

By vargasm - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about four minutes. Then she said, "Can I have my hand back?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 399

You deserved it 3 772

Precision strike

By argfarblewarblearble - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 293

You deserved it 2 407

Get out!

By birdhater - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 208

You deserved it 2 751

Backhanded matchmaker

By Highroller_17 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a customer came in to the Walmart I cashier at, trying to set me up with her daughter. This isn't the first time she's tried. As she so graciously put it, her daughter "has a thing for the wimpy nerdy types". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 176

You deserved it 2 458

Let's go for a walk

By jonloran - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Incline Village

Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 165

You deserved it 2 350

Oh Romeo…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 133

You deserved it 2 480

Pure entertainment

By embarrassed - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I'd finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 128

You deserved it 3 504

Foreshadowing

By CaptainSosuke - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 110

You deserved it 8 707

Messy bitches

By princessbbee - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 056

You deserved it 7 258

Are you kidding me?

By Stinky. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 007

You deserved it 2 802

Cherry on top

By thetallone - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would've run that one over." Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 944

You deserved it 2 752

Unfair

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 932

You deserved it 2 785

This doesn't feel nice

By feelthesting - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Mexico - Aguascalientes

Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 931

You deserved it 1 904

Weak at the knees

By kaybear13 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Mateo

Today, I got written up because apparently leaning on the counter at work is unprofessional, even if you're about to pass out and the counter is the only thing keeping you on your feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 903

You deserved it 2 447

Nice theory

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Portugal - Alhandra

Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 888

You deserved it 2 464

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The Top

Today, I made a multiple choice exam so my friend could practice and get a good grade on his real exam. While I was helping him finish it, the teacher saw it, thought we were cheating and failed us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 225

You deserved it 2 756

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 730

You deserved it 16 052

Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 523

You deserved it 42 311

Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 219

You deserved it 4 596

Today, despite giving my sister a place to stay while she's in town for a funeral, she demanded I give a bedroom to her son to have to himself, because, "How am I supposed to have 'sexy time' with my husband with him in the room?" Everyone's sharing rooms, and no one's getting sexy time as someone literally died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674

You deserved it 123

Today, I am completely mortified. At my father-in-law's funeral, my husband put a bottle of beer on the coffin and announced to the room his dad was such a tight-fisted sod, it was the first drink he’d ever had on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 111