The Top · The top of the year

Anonymous · 23 June 2026, 09:00 ·Sheffield, United Kingdom

The audacity!

Today, my boyfriend had been distant for a while, didn't turn up for my birthday dinner, and gave no explanation. Turns out he was on a date that same afternoon. Two days later he announced his new "relationship" all over Facebook. When he saw I'd blocked him everywhere, he sent a "I miss you" text. Never seen anyone so audacious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452 You deserved it 77

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Anonymous · 22 November 2025, 20:00

Put your back into it!

Today, my boyfriend tried to claim he can’t eat me out because he has a short tongue, a genuine medical condition that means he can’t do it properly. Funny, because I’ve seen him use that short tongue to completely clean out a Cadbury Creme Egg before without issue. He’s now sulking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452 You deserved it 103

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Anonymous · 21 June 2026, 12:00 ·Rialto, United States

They're all out to get me

Today, we drove for four days across states. My dad refused to let us go into the amusement park or check into the hotel we'd traveled for. The park is now cashless and he swears that it’s a government conspiracy to monitor and control us. He made us sleep in the car before going home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452 You deserved it 69

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Anonymous · 22 March 2026, 12:00

WHAT WAS THAT?

Today, I have a broken leg, four broken fingers, a cracked rib, a concussion, and an infection fever, and my wife still sent me downstairs with a bat to check for burglars when she heard a noise at 2 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451 You deserved it 74

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Anonymous · 5 May 2026, 20:00 ·United States

The customer is always right

Today, a customer ordered the spicy shrimp ramen bowl. The menu says spicy, I warned her it was spicy, it’s in the fucking title SPICY SHRIMP RAMEN! Despite all of this, instead of ordering something different, the stupid fucking Karen sent her order back four times because it was too hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451 You deserved it 54

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Anonymous · 27 January 2026, 12:00

Quality family time

Today, I went to my ex-father-in-law’s funeral. The woman my husband cheated on me with, and blew up our marriage for, was mentioned in the eulogy, as well as her kids. Neither myself nor my kids were acknowledged, even though I was married to the evil bastard’s son for over 20 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451 You deserved it 128

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Anonymous · 21 May 2026, 20:00 ·United States

Dude, gross

Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 107

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Anonymous · 4 March 2026, 15:00

Vengeance will be mine

Today, I had to get in contact with a crisis line because of how bad I am being bullied at work. Management won't get rid of the one responsible, as they are also part of Management. Several others have either quit or made complaints, as they are experiencing the same thing. Still nothing is getting done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 76

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PrettyGirlCrookedMouth · 25 March 2026, 09:00

Dating is hell

Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy from a dating app. He'd set the date and told me where to meet him. We met at a coffee shop, and he was an absolute gentleman. Five minutes after the date, I went to message him that I'd enjoyed myself, only to find he'd blocked me on the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 83

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Anonymous · 30 June 2026, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Sniffles

Today, my wife got drunk and adopted a kitten. She thought I’d be mad because of the money. Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m mad because I have the most severe type of cat allergy that could kill me. I can’t go in the house now until everything is sterilised, so I’m back at my dad's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 72

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Anonymous · 21 March 2026, 09:00

Loose cannon

Today, I found out that my workplace still won't fire my coworker who is extremely rude to customers. Last week, he called a black woman the n-word right to her face. All he did was just get yelled at and told to get back to work. No matter how many complaints, they simply won't fire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 70

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Ceara · 3 June 2026, 22:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

My special helper

Today, my mom found my Rose Toy in the washer while doing my laundry. My parents are no longer paying for college and she “hopes I’m planning on seeking some employment” because I have 30 days to move out. When I told her I can’t live on my own on minimum wage, she replied, “You should have thought about that then.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 159

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Who's your daddy, snake girl? · 8 March 2026, 15:00

I have had it with these mf snakes on this mf plane! Everybody strap in!

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449 You deserved it 83

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Elissea · 4 July 2026, 03:00 ·United States

FIFA drama is insane

Today, at a World Cup watch party, my husband joked about how I’d probably eat all the snacks by halftime so everyone should eat up now. I told him that hurt and how he wasn’t the man I married anymore. He replied, “I should say the same thing about you. You didn’t do one thing to lose weight since the kids.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 449 You deserved it 254

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Anonymous · 3 May 2026, 22:00 ·Brisbane, Australia

I'm in Hell

Today, I sit here struggling with such horrendous pain, which I've been dealing with now for the last six months or so, crying and contemplating whether I want to be around or not, as I'm so fed up with the pain. It's affecting me physically and mentally, I just don't know what to do anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449 You deserved it 74

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Anonymous · 12 February 2026, 12:00

In the Navy

Today, while I was sleeping on the sofa, my sister yelled right in my ear, "Attention on deck !" I jumped up so fast because I thought a superior officer had just walked in that I tripped over my own feet and smashed into our mom's glass fronted display case full of porcelain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449 You deserved it 85

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Clerk · 15 January 2026, 15:00

Rare moment of humanity

Today, a guy at work yelled at me for being incompetent when he got frustrated because I couldn't immediately solve his problem. After we got it worked out, he apologized for overreacting and said I didn't deserve his reaction. I'm so accustomed to being treated like dirt that I started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448 You deserved it 96

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Sweet Home Alabama · 20 March 2026, 22:00

Hickory wind

Today, my friends' attempts to get me a girlfriend, even though I'm OK with being single, have gone too far. A "new girl" recently showed up and they're dead set on setting us up because, "You two get along so well!" Every time I try to explain to them that she's my cousin, they think I'm lying. I'm not lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448 You deserved it 58

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Anonymous · 3 August 2026, 03:00 ·Irving, United States

We don't trust you

Today, my dad and stepmom insisted on having a babysitter stay with me while they go off on their 3-week vacation. I'm 22 and work full-time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448 You deserved it 78

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Anonymous · 26 March 2026, 00:00

Nice try, bucko

Today, while I was working as a delivery driver, a customer tried to scam me by changing their drop off address not once, but twice. I got in trouble for the late delivery, even though the customer’s threats are recorded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448 You deserved it 72

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Anonymous · 5 March 2026, 20:00

The proposal

Today, I proposed to my boyfriend. He laughed at me and said that proposing is a man's job, not a woman's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448 You deserved it 165

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Anonymous · 5 March 2026, 22:00

Strained out

Today, my parents happily announced that they're getting remarried. They divorced because of the strain brought on by me nearly dying in a car accident. So basically they put us through all that shit, including me blaming myself for everything, for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448 You deserved it 72

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Anonymous · 17 March 2026, 09:00

Happy family

Today, I asked my wife why she’s been in such a sour mood lately. She released a barrage of complaints, but the biggest one being that she’s bored. In fact, she described me and our kids as the most excruciatingly boring people she’s ever met, all because we’re introverts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448 You deserved it 115

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Anonymous · 15 March 2026, 20:00

Pump and dump

Today, the judge sided with my ex-wife in our divorce, even though the stupid bitch fell for some crypto scam and lost all our money and left us destitute. Apparently, she's an "innocent victim" and I'm a bad person for not standing by her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447 You deserved it 130

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Anonymous · 25 July 2026, 09:00 ·United States

A whole mess

Today, I parked at the airport and rushed inside. TSA pulled me into a back room for screening, including a rectal exam, then let me go, but I missed my flight. Back at my car, there was a note on the windshield: “I know what you did, John. Lock your doors next time.” (My name isn't John) and I found a pile of shit on my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447 You deserved it 105

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JANES · 18 December 2025, 03:00

Get back here

Today, my senile grandad saw me and thought I was cutting class, so he pulled his belt off and came after me. While I was trying to get away, his pants fell off and he tripped over them. I'm now getting the blame for "making him have a fall". FML

I agree, your life sucks 447 You deserved it 73

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Anonymous · 4 May 2026, 20:00 ·Marietta, United States

Caught it

Today, after months of arguing with doctors and them trying to hand me off to mental health professionals, it turns out I indeed have a physical brain injury they missed. Scary, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 447 You deserved it 53

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reallysick · 6 June 2026, 20:00 ·Herentals, Belgium

See you on the other side

Today, I was feeling more and more sick, with significant pain in my abdomen. Nobody believed me, and my grandma told me to stop whinging and to eat something. I tried but started vomiting, and now I'm being rushed into surgery with an already necrotic appendix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446 You deserved it 63

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well fuck · 17 June 2026, 22:00 ·Warsaw, Poland

Daily grind

Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446 You deserved it 109

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Anonymous · 5 August 2026, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Tattoo you

Today, an obese customer wanted a tattoo on her inner thigh. I tried to be professional but after a few minutes, I could no longer stand the stench oozing from this woman’s crotch and had to turn my head and gag. She noticed and kicked up an even bigger stink than what was leaking from her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446 You deserved it 87

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