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You OK, Human?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when I slipped on some mud and fell onto my ass. As I fell, I let go of the leash, and my dog just stood there, staring at me in what seemed like curious judgment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 127

Run Hide Fright

By IjustwanttoenjoyRome - 13/08/2026 00:00

Today, my husband and I are here on holiday in Rome, Italy. We both made chit-chat to an older couple who are staying at the same hotel as us. They've tried to spend everyday with us, even going to the same cafes and museums, where we are. We now try and avoid them; we end up hiding. We're here for another week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 85

By Emmz91 - 17/06/2019 23:03

Today, I tried keeping a surprise secret from my fiance. Turns out, under the influence of my sleeping tablets, which after I take them, I forget everything I've said, I spilled the beans. So much for the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 306

Alarmed

By Anonymous - 22/02/2021 14:02

Today, my sister promised to wake me up at 8 for my 9:30 class. She woke me at noon, and only because I was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 994

Same

By Anonymous - 07/01/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I’m just living. Nothing I want matters. Just the same repetitive thing day after day. What must I do for things to change? FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 185

Mom knows best

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my mom once again told me that I'm too young and immature to get married, and that I don't know what love is. I'm 29, have a successful career, own my own home, and am financially stable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 60

Unforgettable

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 12:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I got asked, “And you are…?” by a senior colleague while in a morning meeting at work. I’ve been working here for 3 months and I've already introduced myself multiple times to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 123

The passenger

By F.L.Stubbs - 05/08/2023 06:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 145

Betrayal #4474

By Anonymous - 10/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I discovered that all the times my boyfriend says he's in the bathroom with horrible diarrhea, he's actually sitting there smoking crack and talking to other women. I've dedicated everything in my life to him. I feel so brokenhearted and defeated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 180

It's the new fashion statement

By Anonymous - 17/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I was late for work and grabbed what I thought was my black coat from the hallway. Halfway to the bus stop, I noticed it was my roommate's dark bathrobe. I still wore it because going back would've made me even later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 269

Long eulogy

By Anonymous - 30/04/2022 12:00

Today, the minister at my grandpa's funeral had a speech impediment that made him stutter his R’s. My grandpa’s name was Robert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 90

Luscious locks

By lukey101 - 11/01/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I discovered that I bought two shampoos instead of a shampoo and conditioner. So for the past three months, I’ve been washing my hair twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 488

It's never too late

By Anonymous - 19/08/2026 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, I wish I'd been a whole hell of a lot sluttier and more adventurous in my 20s. Nowadays my libido has me ready to burst, but my partner not so much. I miss feeling wanted and just letting myself get lost in my own pleasure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 36

By Anonymous - 06/06/2012 16:25 - United States - Bucyrus

Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 177

You deserved it 2 667

The indignity

By Anonymous - 12/01/2025 12:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I stepped on the scale this morning and it actually shattered beneath my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 187

Gimme the fookin' money!

By xobrattybabexo - 09/08/2023 10:00 - United States - Comanche

Today, my OnlyFans account got deactivated, and no one will give me a reason as to why. There goes $200… FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 333

Memento

By Sips - 15/01/2025 20:00 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, I have problems with my memory. I asked a teacher if I could let my class know a bit about it. The teacher said I'd already told my class about it. My class had even asked a few questions to me about it. I don't remember anything about it. Maybe it didn't happen and the teacher just lied to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 106

Waterworks

By Anonymous - 18/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I took an allergy skin test and turns out I’m allergic to dogs. Three weeks ago, I adopted a new puppy to help with my depression, but within a few days I was coughing, sneezing, and having watery eyes. I’ve previously had a dog for 10 years and I was never allergic to it. I don’t wanna give the new one up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 97

Free ring!

By Anonymous - 20/01/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the waiter took the cake with the engagement ring to another table. By the time he'd figured out his mistake, the other couple had left, with the ring. I demanded the security footage, and the couple didn’t just get up and go, they full on snuck out, making sure no one saw them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 143

Boxing

By Jim - 23/01/2025 03:00 - Canada

Today, I gave my nephew a toy car as a gift. He opened it, looked at it for two seconds, and then spent the next hour playing with the cardboard box it came in. Apparently, I could’ve saved $20 and just bought him a box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 124

Confused?

By UghIgiveup - 18/08/2023 04:00

Today, the new person that I was supposed to train didn't show up for the second time in a row. They only had one session with me, and nobody is able to tell me what I'm doing wrong. This is the third time in two years. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 119

Sorry dad

By janess - 09/03/2021 11:00

Today, I forgot my father’s birthday. My father means the world to me, I just have a shit memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 437

Rise and grind

By Gwen - 28/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I'm two days deep into a semester at a trade school, pulling doubles. I was supposed to only work 4 days a week, which would've been totally manageable. But, because the weather was total crap the first week, now I'm stuck working 80-hour weeks for the next month including those Fridays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 123

By fml0505 - 09/05/2013 06:49 - United States

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 903

You deserved it 7 759

fml0505 tells us more.

fml0505 22

Friday 10 May 2013 0:17

This is the OP! I live with a married couple because they are old friends of mine, the rent is cheap, and it helps them out with the bills as well. It's really not that bad, we get along really well. The baby talk just gets old when you hear it all the time ya know? I don't even think he realizes he's doing it at this point, and I don't want to get in the middle of their marriage. I'll just keep quiet, drown it out with manly music, and vent on FML! # 2 I will be long gone before they have a real baby. # 17 I am indeed very jealous of his beard. Also, they are not newly weds. And to clear things up, all three of us are roommates. He's not living with me instead of his wife like some of you thought. That is all.

Desperate

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 11:01

Today, I got broken up by someone I wasn't even sure I wanted to date in the first place. He also made me realize how little self-respect I have right before dumping me. This is the best thing to happen in my love life in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 205

The nerve of this guy

By Gigi - 04/05/2022 06:00

Today, my father accused me of not taking care of my 15-month-old son, who is putting on weight slowly because of starting to walk and run. Come on, for a man who sees his grandchildren two or three times a year and never gives his daughter a call, who gave him the courage? FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 131

You gotta fight, for your right…

By PinkPonyGirl - 06/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I posted a status how women deserve the right to be sexually liberated and that modesty is unnecessary. Some dick felt the need to comment, “Have you looked in the mirror? In your case modesty would be an act of mercy.” Another commented, “Yeah bro, I bet they’d pay her to keep her clothes on in strip clubs.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 570

Parents of the year

By Anonymous - 07/02/2025 15:00

Today, I got to experience the rare pleasure of overhearing my divorcing parents admit that neither of them want full custody of me, or even shared custody, and then planning to guilt one of my grandparents into accepting custody instead. God I hate them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 105

Stuck on you

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I put on a new pair of jeans and went out. Halfway through my errands, I realized the long sticker with my size was still on the back. I walked around for quite a while advertising my embarrassing waist and leg measurements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 336

Set them free

By Seriously?! - 31/08/2023 06:00

Today, my abusive ex-boyfriend contacted me for the first time in almost 14 years, to apologize for how he treated me while we were still together. It brought back all the old memories that I thought I had finally overcome, and made me have such a bad panic attack that I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 162

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The Top

The Top

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 601

You deserved it 4 324

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 672

You deserved it 3 291

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 359

You deserved it 2 005

Today, I found out that my most amazing spring break ever, will be spent stuck on a ship with my ex. It's been almost two years, and he still isn't over me. Yay. This cruise shall be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 692

You deserved it 6 122

Today, I’m so heartbroken I can’t even finish leftover Chicken Scampi without bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 211

Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 176