The Top

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By Anonymous - 03/12/2014 18:34 - United States - Hartford

Today, I realized that although I'm dating the most loveable, caring and genuine man, the fact that he's a crack addict means I'll never be his drug of choice when he needs a hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 957

You deserved it 21 588

Drunk texts

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 06:00

Today, at around 2 a.m., I texted my crush that I liked him. He replied that he's in a relationship. I just felt a tight knot in my stomach and couldn't breathe for a few seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 963

Blocking time

By tommyboy783 - 20/10/2011 01:38 - United States

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 105

You deserved it 66 711

By mainlineloser - 28/11/2014 05:25 - United States - Narberth

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 491

You deserved it 3 359

Disrespect

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 603

You deserved it 3 460

No chuds, thanks

By Anonymous - 15/10/2020 20:01

Today, I found the Instagram account belonging to the guy I've been seeing. That's how I found out he's one of those nitwit asshole Proud Boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 281

You deserved it 423

Mind the gap

By NotDrunk - 11/09/2012 06:47 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 776

You deserved it 2 607

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 23:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that he needed some time alone for a few weeks. This break just so happens to include our one year anniversary, Christmas, New Year's, and my birthday. Now I get to spend the next three weeks alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 148

You deserved it 4 803

So long, grandpa

By fcnk - 18/06/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 344

You deserved it 18 116

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

By ProvenPoint - 27/03/2023 10:00

Today, while discussing difficulties in relationships, I cautiously suggested to my best friend that he may not have the healthiest way of resolving conflicts. He got angry at me for not understanding him but refused to tell where he felt misunderstood, then gave me the silent treatment. Way to prove a point, dear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 115

By rileym797 - 17/06/2009 06:00 - United States

Today, my wife took herself, the kids, and extended family members I've never even heard of to New York. She paid the 7,000$ bill with my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 433

You deserved it 4 698

Dog Fail

By FML Videos - 13/11/2018 00:30 - United States - New York

Living that clumsy life!

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 93

Movie night

By insomniac x2 - 15/08/2013 19:56 - Mexico - Garza Garc

Today, I was watching The Ring on TV in the early morning. When the scene where the girl is crawling out of the TV came on, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 759

You deserved it 8 486

By brit - 13/10/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 2 982

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 11:10 - United States

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 173

You deserved it 30 584

Who does that?

By Anonymous - 22/03/2026 00:00

Today, my son got angry when he came out as gay and my husband and I told him that we loved him no matter what. Turned out he wanted us to reject him so he could have a sob story and make people feel sorry for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 86

We love our short kings

By Anonymous - 30/03/2023 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I’m a short but decently attractive male but I can’t gain enough confidence to approach women, because of the trauma from female classmates treating me terribly in high school when I was still short, but also still going through puberty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 228

Unintentional insult

By Anonymous - 25/08/2024 09:00 - Slovenia

Today, I work at an IT company where we hand out laptops to our users, which we also equip with passwords. I used bird names from my language for the passwords. Turns out one of the passwords was a derogatory word for a woman who is very sexually active, because it's spelled the same as a type of bird here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 128

By LP - 15/06/2009 02:35 - United States

Today, my mom accused me of having an eating disorder, and I didn't correct her. Truth is, I lost weight after I went off the pill a year ago. I'm too embarrassed to tell my mom that I haven't had anyone in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 972

You deserved it 7 594

Black out

By Rude awakening - 28/10/2020 14:01 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, I blacked out while riding my electric scooter. Luckily, I was quickly jolted awake when my chin hit the tarmac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 220

Barbara Cartland epic

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 20:00

Today, according to my wife, if we hadn’t gotten drunk and pregnant on the first date, she never would've chosen me to be her husband, as I’m not her type, not even close, and that frankly I’m lucky her Catholic upbringing was the only thing that stopped her having multiple affairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 194

Catfished

By phonesage - 13/12/2010 20:29 - United States

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 742

You deserved it 10 464

Fresh

By MalariaFree - 14/06/2009 11:08 - Uganda

Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I'm now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 943

You deserved it 3 343

Addictions kill

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 04:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my mom fell and hit her head on our coffee table when walking inside. She tripped on a 1 cm gate rail. She split her head open and there was so much blood. This is the third bad fall in 2 weeks. She still smokes, despite having COPD, and the ER doctor telling her smoking is depriving her brain of oxygen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 120

The wedding from hell

By Anonymous - 04/04/2023 14:00

Today, I embarrassed myself and my husband at the wedding of one of his rich cousins by trying caviar for the first time, finding it unbearably disgusting, choking, spitting it out all over the table, and downing three glasses of water to stop myself coughing. Now they think I’m common as muck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 944

By his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/08/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 118

You deserved it 3 103

By Butter_Cup - 28/12/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, my mom sold the car I've been working on for the last few years for 100 dollars. To buy gas for her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 840

You deserved it 2 809

By embarrassment - 12/06/2009 13:46 - Canada

Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 425

You deserved it 8 405

Living his best life

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it's been a few months ago since we finally got the divorce we’ve wanted for years. He seems to have forgotten our shared photo library as he just uploaded a bunch of photos of all his disgusting sexual exploits, including the threesome he always wanted. Meanwhile, I can’t get so much as a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 338

Red flag

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Elk River

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 306

You deserved it 3 737

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The Top

Today, the man I love, who broke my heart by leaving me a few months ago, showed up to a family event and pulled off the most elaborate, romantic proposal I've ever seen. He was proposing to my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 426

You deserved it 1 671

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 310

You deserved it 17 120

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 580

You deserved it 19 494

Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 111

Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 161

Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 276