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Make plans, God laughs…

By Anonymous - 06/04/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we lost our dream house because the current owner heard us discussing our plans to landscape the massive back garden, and she decided she couldn’t sell to someone who planned to rip out all the flowerbeds she spent years cultivating. Why sell the house then, selfish cow? FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 753

The Sopranos? Baywatch?

By Not GOT - 21/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I made the mistake of saying “I actually liked the ending” during a conversation about a famously hated TV finale. Three people turned towards me like I’d confessed to a crime. One guy spent ten minutes explaining why my opinion proved “everything wrong with modern audiences.” I'd never even met him before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 120

So, when a man loves a woman…

By Gwen - 01/08/2025 20:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, I'm really puzzled about explaining what he saw to our 6-year old. So, he walked in on us mid-sex, which itself would be barely acceptable if there were only the two of us, his married parents, but actually a dead drunk threesome between my husband, his best male friend, and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 637

Be the change you want to see in the world

By Anonymous - 01/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, unfortunately, my friend is a victim of domestic violence and I want to be there for her. The dilemma is that I was abused for 7 months by one of her buddies and she's basically making it out as if it didn't happen. Basically downplaying my trauma all because it's her "homie." Double standards or what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 118

You must be joking

By Anonymous - 11/10/2025 22:00

Today, my friend is mad at me because I refused to be a bridesmaid since she’s getting married at a plantation. I asked if she’d get married at Auschwitz or somewhere else of great suffering. She called me a drama queen and blocked me. Sorry that I, a black woman, don’t wanna go to a plantation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 430

It's a trap!

By iMFUGHG - 10/11/2025 00:00

Today. upon learning that I'd friend-zoned a good friend of hers, my girlfriend dumped me. I worked so hard to win her over. She told me, "Just a tip: next time, go after people who like you. Don't friend-zone them, you just may be missing out on a good person." I told her I wanted HER. She told me, "But I don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 131

Yikes

By Anonymous - 29/11/2025 15:00

Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 124

Oh wow, that's rude

By Nena - 26/12/2025 03:00

Today, I posted a meme on Facebook that said, “Dear Santa, I want a man who’s at least 6ft tall, abs, can plan dates, texts back, has a job and a car.” A friend of mine commented, “Dear Santa, I want a girl under 150lbs, no kids, no emotional baggage, self sufficient and doesn’t bitch 24/7.” His comment got 25 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 767

Weird

By Anonymous - 20/01/2026 00:00

Today, to anyone else who thinks court can be weird, I say this: I just had to testify in court about my penis because it was relevant to the case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 95

Quite rightly so

By Doomed to be fat - 14/03/2026 09:00

Today, after my ex helped me drop over a hundred pounds, I broke up with him because I looked and felt so much better, and knew I could do better. Turns out he was the only thing keeping me slim, as I've put back on over twenty pounds. I asked him to take me back and he told me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 1 503

No, you don't deserve it

By TooMuchLabor - 12/04/2026 03:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my husband abuses me emotionally and manipulates me, in front of our kids too. Now my 7 year-old daughter has started the same behaviour towards me. If I weren't such a coward, I would run far, taking her away, and wouldn't look back, but unfortunately I deserve it for staying I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 233

Bad guy, duh

By sonowwhatdoido - 13/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Greenville

Today, I was supposed to have dinner with my best guy friend, (He’s gay. It’s platonic) but he never showed up.I waited for 30 minutes in the rain, texted and called, but he’s not here. This is the day after he “pranked” me by telling me the guy I like likes me back. I have no idea what’s going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 84

Do not overreact

By Anonymous - 07/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my grandma passed away the morning of my wedding a couple of days ago and my (soon-to-be ex) husband and so-called family all conspired to keep it a secret from me so as not to upset me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 453

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 06/06/2026 12:00 - Maldives - Malé

Today, I went to the store in the most awful looking pyjamas possible, ran into my crush, and he looked at me up and down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 499

What is this?

By Anonymous - 01/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I sent my ex nudes and then asked him if he saved them, only for him to reply with, "Nah, they weren't nude enough." Mind you, he cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 363

Mortified

By Nathalieeeee - 10/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 118

Out of it

By Anonymous - 18/09/2025 22:00

Today, I woke up in jail. Apparently I incorrectly recited the alphabet, complete with singing “Now I know my ABC’s, won’t you come and play with me…” during a sobriety test. I wasn’t driving. I don’t even own a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 324

So sexy

By Anonymous - 27/09/2025 20:00

Today, I was relaxing in the bath with oils and candles and a new book when my husband burst in with diarrhoea, filled the toilet, polluted the air, and knocked my new book into the bathwater. Then, while washing his hands, he asked if I wanted an oil covered shag. Romantic, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 89

Freaky party

By I need abs - 04/11/2025 20:00

Today, at a party, I walked in on a guy I like fucking a girl. Last week, we attempted to hook up - he'd taken my shirt off then said, "Sorry, this doesn't feel right. I can't do this." I angrily told him, "So she feels right for you, huh?" He replied, "Her gut didn't hang when I took her top off. Now leave us alone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 448

Hogwatch

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 00:00

Today, I was once again berated by an idiotic parent. I’ve been called a filthy liberal, a groomer, and had my job threatened several times. All of this because I was teaching second graders about pronouns. You know, the part of English grammar that replaces a noun. Nothing political at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 119

Anger management

By limeiscool - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, about to fall asleep, a bug started buzzing behind the screen to my window. Losing my sanity, I punched the screen, forgetting all about the glass. I now have a cracked window and one still annoying bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 2 424

Busted

By Busted - 16/01/2026 15:00

Today, my husband planned a surprise party. He would pretend to forget my birthday, I'd leave in a rage and go to my best friend's house, where the surprise party would be. It would have been a great plan had I gone to her house and not my side dick's apartment. Now I'm totally fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 442

Harsh but fair

By Singlemamma - 05/02/2026 00:00

Today, I lashed out at the father of my son for not doing anything for the baby. He replied, “I never did shit for you to begin with, didn’t you watch the preview? You knew what you were getting yourself into.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 632

Valid concerns

By Gutted - 02/03/2026 00:00

Today, my boyfriend admitted he didn't want to marry me, not because he doesn't want to spend his life with me, but because he'd seen two friends get ruined by divorce settlements, and he "doesn't want my hooks in him." I love him with all my heart and would never dream of pulling a marriage con. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 119

On the move

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 00:00

Today, my wife and I realized that we made a huge mistake in allowing our son to stay behind and live with my parents when we had to move cross-country due to work. Our lives are so empty without him and we're missing out on watching him grow up, but he refuses to come live with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 644

Big yikes

By Anonymous - 22/04/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 101

Do as you're told

By Fuck u - 30/04/2026 00:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, my parents forced me to do chores. I worked extra slow to rebel against their tyranny. My dad then said I'm not allowed to get my learner's permit for another six months and took away my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 1 107

Polycule avoided

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating again. Not wanting to lose him, I suggested we try opening our relationship and being poly. He flew into a rage and swore I was just trying to think of an excuse to get back at him by screwing a bunch of randos. I can’t win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 470

Step-nothing

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my dad's new wife, who is two years younger than me (I'm 24) and hates that I'm a lesbian, threw a fit when I told her that I would never call her Mom. My dad took her side. I don't live with them but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 92

Shame!

By give back my journal - 07/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I'm a porn addict struggling to stay clean. My girlfriend found my recovery journal and read it, then went off screaming that I'm a sick freak. She stole my journal and has been posting pages on her Instagram and tagging me in them. Yes, the stress made me relapse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 134

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 972

You deserved it 5 979

Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 767

You deserved it 27 803

Today, I was yelled at and humiliated by my otherwise awesome brother-in-law for my supposed lack of effort in the planning of a baby shower for my very pregnant sister. The kicker? Her huge, break-my-bank semi-surprise baby shower has been in the works for a month, and is happening this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 654

You deserved it 2 847

Today, a day after my mom and I got the vaccine, we've been doing everything around the house with one hand each through the pain. My dad hasn't helped out at all despite my requests, and sees nothing wrong with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 327

Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 166

Today, one of my classmates got bullied and the whole class got to wrote 2000 words about that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 472