The Top

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Schadenfreude

By Anonymous - 05/06/2026 22:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I missed a single letter when reading the Bible at church. Instead of "Hope was rich with immortality", I said "Hope was rich with immorality." Nobody at the funeral noticed, except an anonymous FML user who tried not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 113

Haunted dog

By Boo! - 31/10/2024 22:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I dressed up as a ghost and walked down the street to meet my friends. A dog somehow got loose and decided my "flowy" costume was the perfect chew toy. I spent the evening dodging an overly enthusiastic dog and getting barked at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 105

Fleeting

By Anonymous - 12/06/2023 03:00 - Morocco - Agadir

Today, and for the past couple of months, I've been feeling really down. A few days ago, I met a girl from Germany, we made out, and I started reading her favorite book. I learned earlier today that she'd gone back to Germany and forgot to tell me. I’ve been waiting all day to see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 175

Brotherly love

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 22:00

Today, my brother was going to get some drinks for a party we were going to. After getting the drinks, he ended up leaving me at home while he went and got drunk like never before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 110

Why did I say that?

By Candidate - 21/06/2026 22:00 - Australia

Today, after months of unemployment, I got an interview. It went great until the recruiter asked if I had questions. Trying to sound thoughtful, I asked, "What do employees dislike most about working here?" The recruiter laughed and said, "That's a unique way to phrase that." I spent the rest of the interview wondering why my brain chose violence at the worst possible moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 168

BOOM!

By Alison - 18/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my boss called to check if I was available for a last-minute meeting. Trying to sound professional, I sat up straight in my chair, only to forget I was sitting on a rolling chair with no lock. The chair slid back, I slipped off, and a loud crash echoed through the office. My boss asked if I was okay, and I tried pretending nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 204

Plough me out

By Snow joke, I feel like hell - 24/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, snow finally arrived in my area, in very large quantities. Also today, I seem to have caught my dad's cold. The town is too snowed in for traveling and my medications are running low, so I guess we'll suffer together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 116

The gift that keeps on giving

By Anonymous - 14/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, after I fell off of a 150-foot cliff, bruised like crazy with two skull fractures and two foot fractures, one of my closest friends brought his sick girlfriend to visit me while I’m pretty much immobile, and I tested positive for COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 118

Dilemma

By askallthequestions86 - 24/07/2026 00:00

Today, I have chronic dry mouth due to medication. It makes my breath smell atrocious, so I got some Biotene dry mouth lozenges. I usually have constipation issues. Lately it's been the opposite. So I can either have porta-potty breath or be on the brink of shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 79

Family

By Anonymous - 04/08/2026 09:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my father lectured me on the “sanctity of marriage” while his third wife bawled in the corner. I'm just gay, not a raging cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 89

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 06/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, at my godmother's funeral, I got a panic attack causing explosive diarrhea. After the service, I ran to the bathroom and absolutely nuked it. I heard everyone outside calling for me so I quickly flushed the toilet and it struggled. So I flushed again. I left that bathroom with two inches of water on the floor and rising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 108

Soaked

By Jus' me - 30/12/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I was getting ready to relax on my couch and watch TV under a comforter. I had a bag of snacks and the remote in one hand, and a glass of Coke in the other. Usually, I throw the remote onto the couch before settling down… only this time I had it in my left hand and not my right. At least the glass didn't shatter this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 453

HELP!

By anon - 07/01/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I thought I could try and fix the broken door handle on my bedroom door. After a series of unsuccessful attempts, I got stuck inside my room. The only person who knew? My roommate, who was too busy playing loud video games to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 158

Complaint

By Anonymous - 21/01/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I work cleaning houses and a customer submitted a complaint about me to my boss, because he didn’t expect me to use his water from his taps, running up his water bill, which he saw as unfair. What was I supposed to do, bring a water tank with me on my back? Prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 82

Thud

By Dammit - 03/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I got home after a long day and collapsed onto my bed… forgetting I'd left my laptop open on it. Now I have an expensive, broken pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 455

Hell no!

By AnnoyedAF - 09/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my mother has been making videos every time she babysits my kids (who are 2 and 6 years-old) and uploading them to YouTube. She's retired, but out of boredom and need for attention, she seems to have tried making a family vlog channel, but with MY kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 106

The reflex, flex flex flex flex

By Flyaway - 21/03/2021 01:56 - Australia - Rhodes

Today, a fly landed on my dentist's arm. The same arm and hand holding the needle inserted into my gum. He instinctively tried to shake it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 64

Not a people person

By Anna - 07/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried to sneak out of a family gathering without anyone noticing. As I tiptoed toward the door, I stepped on my aunt's prized chihuahua's squeaky toy. The entire house went silent as it squeaked at quite the volume, and everyone turned to stare at me. My "escape" turned into the most dramatic exit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 247

Good intention, mid outcome

By Britany - 17/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to rescue a stray dog and used my work ID to lasso him. I scooped him up and was carrying him to my car when something spooked him and he ran off with my work ID. I eventually found him and traded him a granola bar for my work ID, but not before I reported it missing to my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 471

Coated in embarrassment

By Kate - 26/03/2025 03:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I ran to hug my mom at the airport, but when I stepped back, I realized I was hugging a total stranger who just so happened to be wearing the same coat as her usual coat. She smiled awkwardly as I backed away and said, “Sorry, I thought you were my mom.” The next level of embarrassment came when I looked up and saw my actual mom staring at me in horror from a few feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 437

The horror

By GW. - 01/04/2025 16:00 - United States - Orange

Today, I have norovirus and my period. I feel like I’m emitting fluids from every hole I have. The toilet looks like something out of a horror movie every time I use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 80

My new friends

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a woman back to my place, but we were both too drunk for sex so we decided to nap for a few hours, then fuck. Yeah, we both woke up covered in red spots. Hell of a way to discover my house has become infested with bed bugs. She ran out so fast… FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 357

Party pooped

By Anonymous - 13/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, it was my Sweet Sixteen. Only two of my friends showed up, and they spent the whole night texting their boyfriends. After several failed attempts to do something fun or even get them to talk to me, I got up and left the room, and didn't come back. They didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 102

Long walk home

By zoe - 15/07/2022 22:00

Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 223

Slick

By Anonymous - 19/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a meeting with my team, and at the end, we were all excited about a new project. I tried to be casual and give one of my coworkers a high-five, but he didn’t see me and started walking away. I awkwardly high-fived myself while hoping anyone else didn't see me either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 120

Undercover

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 21:00

Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 250

Classic Dad moment

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my dad for the first time. She politely asked how he was doing, and he responded, “Still vertical. Still annoying people.” Then he winked at her and said, “You poor thing.” I wanted to melt into the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 143

Management mix up

By tiredandsad - 04/08/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and stayed up the rest of the night. I had to go to work from 3 to 11 and I ended up getting my coworker to leave early. As I was getting ready to leave, I found out that I wasn't scheduled today and that I now have to work this Saturday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 423

Jealousy

By Karine - 05/12/2023 00:00 - France - Bordeaux

Today, my dog has a better social life than I do. He has more playdates scheduled than I have actual human plans this month. I'm officially my dog's social secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 228

Bastard

By NeverLetMeDownAgain - 12/06/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it’s the 20th consecutive day of my ex blanking me on WhatsApp. I wouldn’t mind, but I hadn’t messaged him for over a year, and I’m just trying to collect some of my stuff he was holding for me in time for my Mum’s funeral, like my suit. He knows when the funeral is; it’s in 5 days time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 149

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 819

You deserved it 6 552

Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 664

You deserved it 6 645

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 865

You deserved it 15 027

Today, we were at a friend’s birthday party and it was time to sing Happy Birthday. My crush was there. Wanting to impress him, I started out-singing everyone with runs and riffs. Someone said, “It’s just Happy Birthday, it’s not that serious, wannabe American Idol.” Everyone, including him, laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 2 391

Today, my boyfriend of four years proposed to me and I said yes. A few hours later, I found out he's been talking to multiple other girls for about three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 117

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the girl I’ve had a crush on for years. I was so nervous, I got confused and sent her a text meant for my best friend that said, "I’m about to ask her out. Pray I don’t puke on her." She responded with a laughing emoji and said, "You really need to work on your game." FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 453