The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

ADayAtATime · 16 March 2024, 14:00 ·Australia

Self diagnosed

Today, I proved my doctor wrong. I've been having difficulty breathing for 3 months. When it started, she said it was anxiety. I knew that wasn't the case, but I did what she said. A few weeks later, I told her during a follow-up that I thought it might be my phrenic nerve. She laughed. The physio confirmed it today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551 You deserved it 111

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Worn Out · 12 November 2022, 04:00 ·United States

Sneaky sneezy

Today, I sneezed four times in succession. The problem is that I've never sneezed more than three times in a row in my life, so the fourth one came as such a shock to me that I accidentally banged my head on my desk when it occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675 You deserved it 298

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Anonymous · 29 September 2025, 15:00

Let's celebrate

Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516 You deserved it 99

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Anonymous · 23 August 2021, 00:01

Amazon Prime

Today, I was expecting two packages containing tools, but only one arrived. Interestingly, it was NOT the one where I had paid extra – for the first time ever – to guarantee delivery today. Now I have a set of bits and no ratchet to turn them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814 You deserved it 113

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Anonymous · 19 November 2022, 10:00

Coming out

Today, I told my mom that I’m a lesbian. She was fine with it, supported me 100%, and it was a huge relief, until she followed up with, “Until you find a husband, then you’ll obviously have to stop all that.” The reason I even told her is because my girlfriend just proposed to me, and we’re engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 196 You deserved it 202

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Anonymous · 28 August 2021, 22:00

There goes the neighborhood

Today, our neighbors have the most beautiful garden, with hundreds of crocuses in spring. Actually, that was our former neighbors. The new owners have since dug up all the flower bulbs, thrown them out, and replaced them with some lovely decorations made of old car tires. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962 You deserved it 138

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Hassan_been_laid · 16 November 2022, 22:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Red flag

Today, things have gotten so bad with my wife that we both used the smell and sound of outside traffic as an excuse to not have anniversary sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035 You deserved it 378

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Anonymous · 6 April 2024, 12:00 ·Richardson, United States

Slipping up

Today, while I was at work, I didn't have any panty liners so I used tissue. I was taking orders when I suddenly felt the tissue trailing down my leg. I tried not to move, but it inevitably fell through my pants onto the floor in front of my co-workers. I swiftly put it into my pocket. Luckily, it had nothing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481 You deserved it 162

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Anonymous · 2 June 2020, 02:00

Stealth dog

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 642 You deserved it 245

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Anonymous · 13 April 2024, 06:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Paging Sigmund Freud

Today, my girlfriend, who used to have the sex drive of a rabbit on Viagra, has recently lost all interest. It turns out that because her dad finally approves of me, she’s no longer interested in me. Apparently she only lusted after me when her dad didn’t like me, so now I’m of no interest to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789 You deserved it 132

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Blue balls forever · 20 October 2025, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Tease

Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359 You deserved it 84

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Anonymous · 9 June 2020, 02:00

Notification sound

Today, I farted during a Zoom call in front of our client. I thought mic was muted. My Team Lead had lot of things to say to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174 You deserved it 814

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Not Greg · 27 October 2025, 15:00

Greg

Today, it was my first day. HR handed me a badge with my photo and… someone else’s name printed in big letters. I spent the whole morning being introduced as “Greg” to people who said, “Nice to meet you Greg.” By lunch I’d corrected maybe 3 people and reinforced everyone else’s assumption that my real name was Greg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324 You deserved it 112

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Anonymous · 21 April 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Second opinion

Today, I realized that my mental health is in the crapper because of the steroid I was prescribed for my severe inflammation. I'm not even 30, and my choices are to either be so mentally messed up that I can barely function, or in so much pain that I can't even look over my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436 You deserved it 100

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Juan · 23 April 2024, 20:00 ·Tokyo, Japan

Private talent show

Today, we live in a terraced house with very thin walls. For no reason, I sang "Una paloma blanca, I have a huge hairy cock" loudly in the bathroom. I walked down the garden path and encountered my neighbour, who laughed and sang "Una paloma blanca" whilst nodding knowingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 You deserved it 525

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Mom · 8 November 2025, 03:00

Romance is dead

Today, my daughter came over, furiously ranting that her husband had asked for a divorce. During the conversation, I asked what she did to make him happy. She glared at me and yelled, "It's not my job to make my husband happy!" I'm on her husband's side after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438 You deserved it 207

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Anonymous · 27 September 2021, 10:59

Smell test

Today, I went on a date with a guy from Bumble. It was going well, with dinner and a walk on the waterfront, until he started complaining about skincare products, "People with eczema use that nasty cream, it's so sticky and smells horrible." I have severe eczema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067 You deserved it 96

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Anonymous · 1 May 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Gummied up

Today, I ate one Benefiber gummy and spent half the day and good chunk of the night in misery with an upset stomach, where it felt like a lump was in it, as well as aggressive and painful gas, and painful diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358 You deserved it 120

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Are you f*cking kidding me? · 14 December 2022, 12:00 🌶️ Spicy

Down the drain

Today, I found out that my boyfriend had a side chick for the last two years of our relationship. How? He started crying after she broke up with him to try and salvage her own marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594 You deserved it 218

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Anonymous · 6 May 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Classic case of the Mondays

Today, I took the bus after work. When I got to the remote parking lot, I realized my car had been stolen so I called the police to report it. When they came to take a statement and asked me when was the last time I saw my car was, I replied, “This morning, when I drove it to wo… Oh.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 631

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AITA · 9 May 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Creeped out

Today, my sister will be giving birth to my niece any day now. She repeatedly insists on showing me her heavily pregnant belly. I don't know how to tell her that I find pregnancy bellies repulsive without sounding like a dick. I don't even know why this is. I just don't like them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510 You deserved it 168

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Anonymous · 10 October 2021, 02:00 ·Bairnsdale, Australia

Consolation prize

Today, I realised my bestie ditched me for her best friend, which was fine because it's her first. But then I found out she's been hanging out with other new friends and never once thought to hit me up, until I messaged her about feeling sad we hadn't hung out in a while because of the pandemic. Guess it wasn't just the pandemic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842 You deserved it 158

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so fucked · 24 November 2025, 09:00

Hot guy alert

Today, I realized my dad was right about everything: the hot guy who was attractive because my dad hated him so much really was a scumbag. I found out after he got me pregnant, vanished, and then learned that he also got my sister and cousin pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149 You deserved it 648

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Anonymous · 8 January 2023, 00:00

All over the place

Today, my ADHD has gotten so bad that I called my son by my brother’s name, bumped heads with my 2 year-old, and just now went to sit back down on the couch next to husband and accidentally elbowed him in the eye so badly that he went to sleep because he was so angry with me. Praying he doesn’t have a black eye tomorrow.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489 You deserved it 1 052

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LightningRod · 18 October 2021, 20:00 ·Shingle Springs, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Lightning Bolt

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168 You deserved it 153

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Anonymous · 6 January 2023, 21:00 ·Australia

My house now

Today, my house got its annual visit from a cat that lives down the street. My dogs did nothing to chase it away, and it marked its territory. I have a very sensitive nose, but I can't find where the smell is coming from for the life of me. I am also highly susceptible to migraines, and cat piss triggers them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708 You deserved it 917

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Sara · 27 May 2024, 09:00 ·Blackpool, United Kingdom

Klutz

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456 You deserved it 172

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Anonymous · 11 January 2023, 22:00

Free healthcare, please?

Today, I have brain damage, no two ways about it, because I had mumps as a child that caused my brain to swell. I just found out I only got mumps because my dad lied to my mom about getting me vaccinated, because he was too cheap to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288 You deserved it 88

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k…… · 13 October 2021, 11:00 ·Denver, United States

OCD FML

Today, I watched a tutorial video on YouTube. In the video, the guy had several apps with 50+ red notification dots on them, and it bothered me so much that I couldn’t even finish the video. I couldn’t find a single other video that could help me with my particular issue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458 You deserved it 776

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Anonymous · 17 January 2023, 14:00

Have you heard the news?

Today, my mother had a Kitty Party (sort of), and I was in charge of the tea and snacks. I was so busy I didn't pay attention to their discussion. After everything was done, I heard my mother talking about my poop colour and how unhealthy it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746 You deserved it 140

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