Today, I heard my son use the word "exacerbated". I had to look it up to see if he had correctly used it, which he had, because I couldn't remember what it meant. I'll be 23 next week. He's not even 4. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML
Today, I became a grandmother. At 44 years-old. My son is 15. FML
Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Today, I had to go into school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML
Today, my 14 year-old son got into a fight with his 15 year-old cousin. I say fight, my son just practically lamped him into orbit. When I yelled and asked why he did that, my son said, "He was mogging me." I had to get my phone out to look up what that even meant. I'm still not sure what it means. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, my dad accused me of being illiterate when I used a word he'd never heard of, saying it sounded like lazy slang, and that it wasn't a real word. He then yelled at me for being a "smartass who's always right" when I read aloud the definition from his 1978 copy of Webster's dictionary. Guess he's not enthused. FML
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Top comments
Isa_fml 20
Says the douche who can't even spell college, lmao. Shoo, troll. Back under your bridge.
pjsr 33
I thought I knew where this was going. I was so wrong. #DirtyMinded
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Comments (41)
fackhole 10
thats why you shouldnt have kids at 19, because you are still stupid at 19.