Today, I had a rare phone call from my ex-girlfriend. We ended up talking for hours about old times. It was the best conversation we have had in forever, it made me miss her and miss us. Later on in the day, she called back asking what we talked about. She was too high too remember. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I talked to my ex on AIM after not speaking to her since we broke up two years ago. The conversation lead up to her asking how I feel about her. So I poured my heart and soul out to her, because I still love her. She immediately logged off. FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML
Today, after being in the hospital for two days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend was feeling a little down, so I tried to console her. She said she just needed space and I respected that. Then an hour later she was fine, so I asked how she did it. She replied that she talked to her ex for a whole hour. This is a common procedure. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend called saying she wants to get back together because of how mature and sincere I sounded last night. I despise her and I was drunk last night. FML
Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML
Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML
Today, a girl called me, asking for one of her friends. She wouldn't believe me when I told her she had the wrong number, and I spent a few minutes convincing her she did. After a while she said, "What the fuck?" and hung up. That was the longest conversation I had with a girl in months. FML
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Top comments
amy397123 0
I'm sure she is your ex for a reason. Move on.
FerrariCake 2
You talked for "hours" and she was high the entire time? That's some powerful weed.
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Comments (64)
jif_fml 0
i've forgotten things from when i was high, it's completely plausible, depending on how ripped you are. and you can also be high for hours.
grandma_moses 0
where in this fml does it say she smoked? she could have been on anything. again, think before you type.
Danzergirl1 0
Shit dude im sorry
FortuneFaded 0
If I see one more comment criticising someone's grammar, I think I'm going to go crazy.
pachy78 0
mmmm did you ever told her?
teacher411 0
Time to move on buddy!
ShinyMarker 0
your thing said ur a girl. so r u a lesbian?
mandarin01 0
wow, that sure would make sense....
xProphet 0
congrats! you're retarded! of course she's a lesbian.
jif_fml 0
grandma moses, if that was a reply to me- it doesn't say she DIDN'T smoke, and people most generally refer to the effects of marijuana when they say someone is high. without more information from the OP, it's safer to go with the general assumption. thanks for the advice though!
Emperor_Jim 0
...And people ask me why I don't smoke weed.
xProphet 0
Because your a ****** who believes everything the DARE presenter says?
wtsc 0
move on.