Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML
Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
volley4eva1698 0
birds are so ungrateful these days
ritbbehindu 0
those are some angry birds
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
elisivedotone 0
not gonna lie if I saw that I'd be laughing
MothsWings 4
That's awful. Hope you're alright.
LexusRenee 6
angry birds :-)
kittennn 0
No you know to stay away from any loon who feeds birds.
gatorgal94 0
Albert Hitchcock was TRYING to Warn Us.. THE BIRDS ARE COMING!!!/:
RandomPotato 0
My sister once got attacked by a flock of seagulls that my aunt had fed.
TheNewGuy03 29
you ungrateful sonofa-- |the kid|
shamille 5
Haha this is like the deer in Nara. Except they sell crackers for them, and the deer have this whole hustle around the cracker stand. They're like really aggressive public pets.
TOOOBSOCK 0
angry birds.
harrywestt 0
rofl you got raped by birds.